The Mentoring Manifesto, Vol. 41: Engaging Wives in the Mentoring Process
A few years ago, we asked twelve of our longest-tenured mentors to report how many of their mentees got divorced after completing their mentoring season. The results were astonishing…88 groups, 655 men, only 16 divorces. If you’re keeping score, that’s 2.4%, quite a bit lower than the current U.S. divorce rate, which hovers around 50%. So, what’s the secret? Priorities.
The Radical Mentoring process focuses first on the mentee’s relationship with God. When this relationship is right, the cycle of shame can be broken, and the mentee can begin to see himself as God sees him. Only then can he display grace and forgiveness to others as God has done for him.
Then the attention turns to how this newfound identity impacts the mentee’s relationships, starting with his wife. In What Radical Husbands Do, Regi Campbell writes, “it’s up to you to win and keep your wife’s heart.” In Radical Mentoring, we work hard on the “keeping” part.
Ecclesiastes 4 tells us that “two are better than one,” but then follows with “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Jesus is the third strand. He is the only way to honor the marriage covenant ‘til death do us part.
The resources below reflect the importance of involving your mentee’s wives in the process. And your wife too! Don’t miss the Mentee Wives Email, as this is an easy way to engage them early in the mentoring season.
HOW WIVES CAN HELP MENTEES
KNOWN COLLECTIVE: WOMEN’S MENTORING
What if your wife wants to lead a mentoring group or your mentees’ wives want to be in one? We’d love to help! Known Collective is our women’s mentoring platform. If you have a Radical Mentoring account, you can access these resources with the same login.
WIVES EMAIL TEMPLATE
Many mentors email their mentee’s wives at the beginning of the season to introduce themselves and let them know what is expected of their husbands in this process. This goes a long way towards managing wives’ expectations and setting mentees up for success.
VIDEO: ENGAGING WIVES IN THE MENTORING PROCESS
In this 12-minute video, active Radical Mentors have a conversation about how they engage wives in the mentoring process, including their wives and the wives of the mentees in the group. A great watch for any mentor looking for some real-world inspiration.
Breathe New Life Into Your Discipleship
Small group mentoring can help you engage your people, build your core group of leaders, and transform your church. Our free resources equip you with all the tools you need to launch a sustainable mentoring program.