“Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God.” -G.K. Chesterton.
Most mentees come into a mentoring season with baggage surrounding sexual integrity… pornography, past relationships, mismatched expectations regarding marital sex. Most mentees also feel tremendous pressure when comparing careers, cars, houses, and families with those they see around them in life and on social media. I don’t think you can separate these two issues. As life gets more complicated, the likelihood of our mentees turning to a competing desire like sex, drugs, work, or alcohol increases. Young or old, Christian or non-Christian, successful or less so, the issue of sexual integrity does not discriminate.
As a mentor, you must remember that sexual integrity issues are usually a sign of a deeper issue. Our amnesia keeps us from taking our place as a beloved son and causes us to seek pleasure from outside sources. Paul describes it this way in Romans 7…
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Mentors, your job is to create a grace-filled space where your mentees can bring their authentic selves and then point them to Jesus, where they can find their ultimate fulfillment. The resources below will help you along the way.
Many Christian marriages are in the midst of some sexual struggle or dysfunction. In this devotional, Paul David Tripp dives into the issues at play and what to do about them, including questions for reflection. A great resource for you or one to send to your mentees.
A couple of years ago, we talked with our friend and sexual integrity mentor Michael Leahy about addressing these issues on mentoring groups, knowing when to refer someone to a specialist, and other important questions you will want to think about as a mentor.
On this podcast, Micheal Cusick interviews Andrew Bauman about his book, The Sexually Healthy Man. They discuss what a sexually healthy man looks like and provide comfort and clarity to those struggling in this area.
Another Michael Cusick resource? Yes, he’s one of our favorite experts on the subject! This article explores why “bouncing your eyes” or just saying no doesn’t work. He challenges us to look below the surface to uncover the cause of our behavior.
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