Zone vs. Man-to-Man
It’s pretty rare when I have a BGI (blinding guiding insight). But I had one a few weeks ago and couldn’t wait to share it. Here goes….
We’ve gone “zone”. Jesus called “man to man”.
When you play “zone” defense, you’re responsible for an area of the court. Anyone who comes into your zone is your responsibility. Yeah, you move around when the ball comes your way, even leaving your zone to help out when there’s an emergency. But your first responsibility is your area…your zone.
In “man to man”, you’ve got a guy to track. A person. A face. You can study him. You can prepare for him. In the game, you’ll always know where he’s at. You know what he’s up to. He never gets out of your sight. Sometimes he’ll try to fake you out, but you never let him get away for long. You’ll bust your gut… you’ll get injured trying to stay with him.
I sat with a church staff not long ago. They were all there. Music guy. Youth guy. Sunday school guy. They all had their zones.
I asked them to write down the name of one person they were personally investing in for spiritual purposes. Not a single person wrote down a name.
They are all playing “zone”.
“If anyone comes into my area, I’ve got ‘em. But by and large, so long as I’m covering my area, I’m o.k.”
Now before you get too critical, ask yourself if you’re not doing the same thing.
I go to work….I cover my “zone”. I come home, I cover my “husband and father” zone. I go to church, teach a Sunday school class, lead a small group, I’m covering my zone. If someone comes into my zone, I’m ready. If someone in my small group calls me with a problem, then I’m there to help. But I’m not going to look for engagement. I’m not going to initiate. It’s a lot more convenient to respond…to wait for the need to arise…to play “zone”.
Jesus played “man to man”. He broke all kinds of social mores by connecting with men and women one-on-one. The woman at the well, the rich young ruler, Zacchaeus, Matthew, the woman with the problem with blood, on and on… Jesus didn’t just show up in his “zone”. Jesus didn’t just go teach his Sunday school class or lead his small group. He initiated. He connected with people the Father led him to. He went “man to man”.
Ask me how a church, particularly a large one, goes from “zone” to “man to man”? I have no idea, except this….
I had lunch with the Senior Pastor of a large megachurch. Thousands of people. Hundreds of staff. Millions of dollars.
For 45 years….45 years…..this man has mentored a group of guys toward growth in their faith. He said, and I quote, “If I had to choose between preaching on Sunday (playing “zone”) or doing these groups (going “man-to-man”) , I’d give up preaching!”
If church leaders start to go “man to man” in their own lives…if the leaders start to experience the joy of seeing individuals come to Christ and start to flourish in their faith, they’ll figure out how to get others to do it too.
Personally, I went “man to man” a number of years ago. No other decision I’ve made has been more richly rewarded.
Question: Are you willing to go “man to man”? Ask God to show who He wants you to engage with and to give you the courage to initiate. You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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Responses (18)
I saw this article/blog or e-mail and I took issue. Mainly because I am convicted of doing zone vs. man to man. I have a family with a wife and 3 kids. I work, I volunteer at church, coach basketball, Tiger Scout Den leader, I play so much zone it is ridiculous. I have one guy Domecia who is my accountability guy. That is about it. I feel stretched and don’t know how to do more man to man. Ok, enough with the rambling. Point is, we/I do zone because it is what I have been shown is an effective way to reach others. I have not been discipled to know otherwise. Also, for that mega church guy, if he prefers the man to man then has he given up the mega church?
Theron,
I understand that you do what you have been taught, but that doesn’t mean it is the best or most effective. I HIGHLY recommend a book called “Mentor Like Jesus”.
Andy Stanley: “Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.”
I love that quote by Andy Stanley. He used it at Catalyst East and it had a profound impact on how I look at helping others.
We sometimes overlook the most important piece of “man to man”. Prayer. Howard Hendricks is quoted as saying “It’s more important to talk to God about men than to talk to men about God”. If we’d just identify our “man” and start to pray for him consistently, God would change our heart and probably his too.
Thanks for your post Theron. I don’t see this as an “either/or” but a “both/and”. I don’t have any trouble giving 3 hours a month to a Radical Mentoring group and the senior pastor I referenced has made the same choice. I say there’s 3 available hours in EVERYBODY’S monthly calendar, especially for obeying Jesus’ command to “go (which connotes ‘initiate’) and make disciples. I go to a mega church and I love it. But I have to choose to invest in individuals for spiritual purposes in my heart. If the church provides the vehicle, great. If not, I’m still “on the hook” to obey God and make disciples.
Regi – this is an awesome post. Thanks a lot for sending it. The second I read it, I thought of a specific person that I’m going to approach today.
Thanks for posting. I’ve been thinking about this same question recently. I’ve heard a lot over recent years about small groups and small (or house) church, etc. I’ve even been through a mentoring program using your materials. And I agree that there’s a great dynamic in the mentoring groups and that they’re very important.
My concern is the “either / or” question because I don’t see Jesus’s ministry with that kind of dichotomy. He definitely ministered to the small group of disciples in a distinct way. But he also ministered to other individuals and the crowds as well.
As I read it, I believed he played both “zone” and “man to man.” And I think we should too.
Agreed. We all have roles, just like a forward or guard on a basketball team or a free safety or cornerback in football. The problem is we’ve become comfortable in playing the roles but without taking any personal interest or responsibility for individuals. Nate Larkin, in “Samson and the Pirate Monks” said it this way, “When we make another man’s progress our concern, giving him a listening ear and a caring heart and opening ourselves up as a conduit of God’s grace, we find OUR walk propelled to a whole new level”. It’s a “win-win” to play man to man.
This is why fathers are so important. God intended that every young man should be getting man-to-man attention from his father. It is why caring for orphans and being a father to the fatherless is so often called out for special emphasis in the scripture. (James 1:27, Jer. 22:3, Ps 68:5, Hos 14:3 and dozens of others).
To Theron I would say “play man-to-man with your wife and kids” first. Do not neglect your own household. Then look to engage in others. Regi and others his age often have the time (and energy!) once their kids are grown to engage in man-to-man with other young men who need the attention. To each season of life there are different duties.
As the father of two boys 11 and 9 with a 3 yr old daughter, my primary God-given responsibility is to them. They need and will get my focus and attention first. Does that mean I cannot engage with someone else whom I could help? Maybe.
I know I MUST NOT go “zone” in my household to play “man-to-man” with someone else. Perhaps for a short time if there is someone in a severe crisis and ONLY I can help (not likely). But I simply have to invest in my wife and my children first and return to individual engagement there.
I’m not disagreeing with Regi’s insight at all, just offering some perspective on how you decided where to engage based on your stage of life.
So many, many mentoring opportunities exist these days because fathers did NOT spend the time and energy with these men when they were children.
Well said, Ralph. “I know I MUST NOT go “zone” in my household to play “man-to-man” with someone else.”
You “get it” Ralph. Unfortunately, too many fathers see their home as another “zone” these days. Just show up, orchestrate logistics, be in the right place at the right time, but never really being transparent and never knowing their wife’s heart, much less knowing their kid’s hearts. I translate the word “heart” to the word desire. Do you/we really know what our wife wants? Our kids? Like right now? If not, we’ve been playing zone.
I don’t see why anyone cannot go man-to-man to at least some extent. Maybe not exclusively, which is why the pastor hasn’t — and shouldn’t — give up the mega-church (what he said was “IF” I had to choose….), but the choice to do so is a matter of priority and focus. And, I have to add, has been a joy for me.
I agree Pat. Most of the men reading this blog have huge capacity…they’re leaders and Christ-followers. They have more “father” capacity… more “disciple-making” capacity than they’ve ever tapped. The question is “Will I take the risk?” “Is it worth it?” “Will I turn off ESPN and get involved with someone for spiritual purposes?” “Will I be inconvenienced?” More on inconvenience later….
I have been doing one on one with mature Christian men from my area and believe that the time has come to grow into small groups. We have been discussing very intimate issues ranging from pornography, disintegrating marriages, addictions, masturbation, etc. etc. all of which lead to the feeling of self condemnation and unworthiness. I am looking for resources that can help me minister specifically to these very personal problems in small group settings. Can you suggest anything?
Ed
Check out “The Cure” and associated resources from McNichol, Thrall and Lynch.
[…] Zone vs. Man-to-Man- The author shares a great sports analogy for ministry: […]
I finished reading “Mentor Like Jesus” last night. The last part about where to find men to mentor was the easiest because I already have them. For the last five years as a volunteer I have led a course on the basics of the faith at a military boot camp for youth felons and the majority of the teens I work with are male. My reading Regi’s handbook on mentoring and being able to show the movie “Courageous” really changed things for my current platoon. I plan to be much more intentional with my next platoon about sharing “man stuff” with them from Regi, Joe Gibbs, Donald Miller, and more. I really like this article about trying to go one on one. I think I can do more of that in spite of our group setting if I commit to mentally switching out of zone now and then especially when answering questions as there is usually just four to six in my group.
There is one man, God bless him, who shows up every Sunday afternoon with his Bible (to set on the table) to visit with any boy who doesn’t have a visitor, is on good behavior, and wants to visit. I told my platoon, “He brings his Bible! Get into it with him!” So they have. Oh, to have more men like him!
You may not have a youth prison near you, but a lot of communities have group homes for boys coming out of prison.
As a woman, Regi’s book has been a godsend for me to help me see a whole different perspective and opportunity for my intereactions with teen boys. There is a huge manhood vacuum in our country and it is sucking up the next generation. Oh, for more men willing to turn off their TV’s and get involved. If you don’t want to support these boys while they do life in prison, then get involved. You do not have to know the whole Bible to do this. There is something about passing on what God has given you that completes one’s faith and brings great joy.