Why Mentors Don’t Call
A few of the guys I’ve mentored have gotten their feelings hurt because I don’t call them. I could hide behind “I’m really busy” or “I’ve got a lot of mentees and not enough time to go around” – But I don’t.
Truth is they have to call me.
There’s a purpose here. Actually, there are two.
First, men need to take responsibility for their own growth and development. With hundreds of thousands of books, podcasts, videos, and web resources available, guys continue to sit and watch ESPN cycle over and over. The average American reads only .58 books per year but watches over 28 hours of television per week. We let our culture feed us what it wants to “sell” us without thinking about what WE want or need. If a man is to become a man of dignity, integrity and grace, he’s got to take the initiative. He’s got to reach out to mentors, search out things to read, watch and listen to. He’s got to take responsibility for his personal and spiritual growth. A mentor can be a valuable resource, but the mentee has to step up for himself.
The other reason a mentor doesn’t call is to teach his protégé to ask for help. America has bred a generation of self sufficient, “macho” men who are too proud to ask for anything. Yet inside, they’re more needy than they can ever imagine.
God created a world defined by need and interdependency. True intimacy begins when a person can “safely” bring his need to another and get help. There’s something built into us that leads us to help those in need. It bonds us with them in a unique way. Jesus had 12 disciples, but the three he was closest to…Peter, James and John, were initiating conversations, asking him for answers, and seeking his help.
Question: Are you actively taking it upon yourself to seek out the help/guidance/wisdom you need or are you just waiting for it to come to you? How have you been blessed by being the initiator?
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Responses (0)
Man, What a powerful process. It is an amazing thing when you actually persue becoming the person that God has called us to be. It is great that you are not spoon feeding mentee’s knowledge and wisdom but that it follows a bibical model of seeking and finding. Thanks for what you do!
Wow, What a powerful thing. It is humbling idea that we must be seekers. You are correct. My generation assumes that things will come to us, just like the american dream is a right and is not something that is earned. Thank you for putting your ‘mentee’s” in a relationship where they must pull them selves out and follow a biblical model of asking of receiving instead of being spoon fed knowledge and wisdom!
Well said!
Spiritual growth is something we can pursue if we choose. The more intentional we are in growing, the more we have to offer others AND the better prepared we are for the hard times that life always brings. I’m encouraging my mentees to pursue multiple mentors and keep doing so year after year.
“The average American reads only .58 books per year but watches over 28 hours of television per week. ”
That sentence says it all right there. Talk about not taking the initiative. Geez.
Nicely done for trying to raise the bar.