Who’s Got the Monkey?
Maybe it was being 24 years old and thinking about an MBA. Maybe it was because I wanted all the ‘monkeys’ I could get to prove myself and get ahead. But when I read the article in the Harvard Business Review, it lit me up. Written by William Oncken Jr. and Donald L. Mass, “Who’s Got the Monkey” went on to become the 2nd most popular article ever published by HBR.1 It’s the story of an overburdened manager who has unwittingly taken on all of his subordinates’ problems. If, for example, an employee has a problem and the manager says, “Let me think about that and get back to you,” the monkey has just leaped from the subordinate’s back to the manager’s. Get this metaphor in your head and you’ll see monkeys flying all around you at work and at home. More jumping on than off.
The ‘monkey’ article helped me see that someone has the monkey. Somebody’s responsible. For the next step. For the next week. For the final pitch. For the client relationship. For the spiritual health of the children. For the quality of the marriage. Somebody’s got the monkey.
I also learned that when two people are responsible for the same thing, no one is. Every monkey has an owner. Monkeys love to sneak around, pretending they’ve jumped from one back to another when they really haven’t. They like to get on one person’s back and weigh them down, even when they’re not their real owner. And monkeys really like to get into the confusion crack…where each person thinks the other one has the monkey but no one does.
But there’s a huge distinction in the monkey metaphor. I didn’t get it when I was young because I didn’t know Jesus and how much He loved me. And didn’t understand the words “omnipotent” and “omniscient”.
The monkey is about taking responsibility for action, not final answers. We’re responsible for our behavior but not outcomes. For what we do, not how it turns out. Healthy people find a good balance in how much responsibility they take and how they respond when it goes well or badly. Unhealthy people take on too little or too much responsibility. Take on too little and you find yourself a victim…everything, good or bad, is on someone else’s shoulders. Take on too much responsibility and you’ll find it all on yours. You’ll pester people, worry all the time, become overbearing (literally) and overwhelmed.
I refer you to Judges 3:31. Not what you expected, right?
“After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel.”
Dan Cathy, CEO of Chick-Fil-A applies the verse this way….
“Start from where you are” – Shamgar was amongst a bunch of Philistines.
“Use what you’ve got” – He didn’t have guns, swords or nuclear weapons. He had an oxgoad. That was it.
“Do all you can” – There were a lot more than 600 of those buggers, but Shamgar struck down all he could.
“Trust God for the outcome”- Shamgar played a role, but God saved Israel.
If God loves me and you, wants what’s best for us long term, is all-knowing and all-powerful, ultimately He’s got the monkey.
Question: If you’ve learned to trust God with outcomes, tell us here.
1 Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey? by William Oncken Jr., Donald L. Wass, Stephen R. Covey, Harvard Business Review, 9 pages. Publication Date: Nov 01, 1999. Prod. #: 99609-PDF-ENG
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Responses (4)
Regi
I needed that this AM. My 11 yr old daughter has recently had some health issues and had some test results that are very concerning, leading us down the path of specialists and more tests.
I am a recovering type A that wants to fix things. I can’t fix this. I know that God is in charge, and that he has a plan and purpose, but this is the greatest test that we have ever faced to be joyful in times of trial.
Pls pray for my daughter Rachel and our family. We pray for Rachel’s health and that this cup my pass if its Gods will, and if not that he will be present in our lives in the awesome and incredible way that only He can
Thank You…btw I was introduced to your work by Bob Voyles at Church of the Apostles where we worship…
Thanks for your comment Ron…for sharing your personal angst. Stuff happening to our kids is almost a category unto itself. Nothing brings us ‘up on the wheel’ and ‘down on our knees’ at the same time. I’m praying Rachel’s health will be restored and God will use her in unbelievable ways during her time here on planet earth!
It’s a loooong process…learning to trust God with outcomes. Moreover, those monkeys tend to travel with big backpacks full of selfish pride, the need to control, a desire for success, and fear of failure. For years, at church, at home, and in the workplace, I’ve often invited way too many monkeys to take up residence on my own backside.
However, this new phase of life as a full-time caregiver for my aging father is teaching me how to say “no” with grace and without guilt. It’s also giving me new perspective on the difference between saying I trust God and actually living it out day-to-day as each new day presents a new and unique challenge.
Recently, I had to accept that the final outcome of my Dad’s situation is certain (as it is with us all), and I am powerless to change it. And, my preoccupation with trying to predict and control what will happen next are distracting me from serving my Father in Heaven and my father on earth with the joy and happiness they both deserve.
Lately, I’ve noticed that the times when I can do less obsessing and stressing and more praying and obeying are the times when I am able to recognize and be grateful for how God is working in and all around me. I am learning to crave more of these times throughout the day, and it’s enriched my prayer life in a way I never thought was possible.
Blessing via trial is evidenced time and again throughout Scripture, but for serious-minded, OCD-driven personalities like mine, it can be hard to submit and recognize God’s joy and freedom when we are going through a trial of our own. Thankfully, I serve a God who’s well acquainted with all my monkeys and my sin, and He’s already forgiven me for spending way too much time trying to control what He’s had under control all along.
He’s got your back Jackie.