Where Does Your Significance Come From?
‘How much is enough’ put us on the money trail. But ‘Where does your significance come from’ is the “who” question. Start trying to figure out where your significance comes from and it’ll lead you to a “who”.
A friend of mine is a CEO. It almost doesn’t matter what of. He’s just a CEO. The company he worked for was sold and he stopped being a CEO for a while. He was miserable until he went back to work… as a CEO. He has commuted for years, spending weeks away from his family. But doggonit, he’s a CEO!
Who is he trying to please….to live up to….to impress….to belong with, by holding a title or having initials after his name?
For me, it was “they”.
I spent the first 12 years of my career trying to please “they”. “They” thought it would be good if I had an MBA. “They” wanted me to take a new job and move to round out my experience. I never figured out who “they” were, but “they” had a huge hand in my life. Figure out who “they” are, and you’re getting close to the source of your significance question.
“They” was a combination of my dad, my peers, and my wife. Getting ahead in my career, making a lot of money, having a nice house and nice cars showed “them” I measured up….that I had what it takes. I wanted affirmation so badly, and I could get it by having more and achieving more. And more. And more.
At age 33, my life blew up. Career blew up. Marriage blew up. I found myself totally alone with God. In the first real conversation I ever had with Him, He let me know I was significant to Him. He let me know He loved me with or without career success. He let me know I mattered….mattered enough that He would have sent His son to die on that cross if I’d been the only one. He’d have done that just for Me… Iwas that significant to Him!
For the first time in my life, I knew I was significant. And it wasn’t because of anything I did… it had nothing to do with my title, my performance, my stuff, my MBA, my achievements, none of that. It was because of Him loving me and giving me a fresh start. It was because He had offered to adopt me into His family for years and I finally accepted. In an instant, we connected. I said “O.k., it’s you and me God. You’re my dad. You’re my audience. You’re replacing “they”. From here on in, I’m going to focus on what you think, what you would have me do and what matters to you”.
Isn’t it amazing the God of the universe (the God who created the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth and everything in it) would reach into a group of 6 billion people and choose me to be an adopted son? Could anything top that?
Try to be significant by being successful, smart, famous, rich, strong, popular or handsome and there’ll always be someone who is more successful, more famous, more rich, more popular or more handsome. Anything you do to be significant, if it’s defined by comparison with others, dead or alive, you’ll always wonder if you’re really there.
But when God defines you as significant, you’re significant!
The key is to accept it. Embrace it. Relax in it. Appreciate it.
Once I grasped God’s love for me, my default setting became gratitude. The significance question was answered and the pressure went away. My wife says “he stopped dancing”. I relaxed in my own skin. I settled into the passenger seat and let my (heavenly) Father drive. Yeah, I try and take the wheel out of His hands every now and then. But it doesn’t take long to realize that He’s God and I’m not…that I need to keep trusting Him, following Him and being grateful.
There’s a huge difference in believing in Jesus and making Him the “who” you live your life for. I’ve done both and being ‘all in’ is better. Significantly better.
Question: Who’s your “who”? Who defines your significance? If you’d like to comment, please do so here.
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Responses (5)
The truth of what you are saying dawned on me most when I heard “What I do does not determine who I am. Who I am determines what I do.” So many guys, myself included, tended to associate career with personhood. Really my personhood is that of Christ. That means in any role, reflecting Him and submitting to Him is the basis and foundation of my existence.
For so long any conversation with another guy I met always seemed to start with “so, what do you do…” followed by a diatribe of career titles, elevator speeches and list of accomplishments or latest business activites. Now my response is “live for God, love my wife, mentor my kids and give to my community…” It takes most by surprise. Occasionally someone will then ask where I work…”Oh, and I work for …”
Thanks for reminding me Regi to keep surrendering the wheel. I like the stopped dancing….
You sound like a man who’s matured in his faith and has answered those two big questions….a man who might make a great mentor.
Working on it now Regi with Coach Bob Schueman from The Gathering of Men, Palm Beach County. Looking forward to taking the next step, and Coach has a handful of other guys looking to do the same with a small group of mentees. Giving back is a great thing!
amen
Nice blog post about our significance coming from God. Even though this article was written months ago it is a good response to the recent shootings in Colorado (my home state).
I shared it on Facebook.
I have a blog post in the works that is along the same lines (may take me weeks to actually publish it though).
Thanks & God bless,
~Jeff