The Secret to Getting Men to Read
If I’ve heard it one time, I’ve heard it a million times . . .
- “How do you expect men in a Radical Mentoring group to read nine books over nine months?”
- “But men aren’t readers . . .”
- “Men are too busy with work and family activities to consider something with this much reading.”
The median American reads four books per year. And that’s not just a stat; I could back it up with anecdotal evidence from my conversations.
On the other hand, we all perceive the importance of reading and have heard leaders speak to the power of reading . . .
- “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” –Harry Truman
- “I read books.” –Elon Musk, when asked how he learned to build rockets
- “Read 500 pages . . . every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up like compound interest.” –Warren Buffet
We all have full calendars. And by the time we do get in bed, it’s easier to fall asleep than open up a book. Trust me, I get it . . . I have two boys ages 9 and 12. But I also know, based on surveys and feedback from our mentors and churches, that over 6,000 men have completed the Radical Mentoring process . . . including reading a book a month.
So, how did that happen? What’s the secret? A few observations . . .
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- Clear Expectations – When men join a group, they know what’s expected. Mandatory attendance and mandatory homework completion . . . including Scripture memory, relational and personal assignments and reading a book and writing a one-page net-out. Set the bar high and hold them to it.
- Book choice matters – Be reasonable . . . somewhere in between Dr. Seuss and War and Peace. We recommend starting with Bo’s Café. Why? Because it’s a novel, which creates a comfortable entry point and allows men to connect with at least one part of the main character Stephen’s narrative, helping them see the power of their When I look at an end-of-season survey and see that the Bonhoeffer biography was “least beneficial,” I’m not surprised a bit.
- Men love a challenge – Many of us haven’t read a book or turned in a report since high school or college. At least not one where our intent was learning. Since then, we haven’t been asked to read, so we stopped. Challenging men to step outside their comfort zone is an integral part of each mentoring group . . . men will step up to the challenge.
Back in 2002, I was in the same position as many mentees. Newly married, no kids, and no habits that pointed me to Jesus. Then I (somewhat unknowingly) joined a mentoring group and reshaped my immature view on my marriage, my opinion of myself, and, most importantly, my faith. During this yearlong journey, I memorized Scripture and completed homework assignments, which were deeply impactful. But even more meaningful were the books I read and the healthy reading habits I formed.
I never believed I would be a reader. And truthfully, without my mentoring group, I wouldn’t be.
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Responses (17)
When I talk to men groups there are three things I tell them I want them to do.
1. Read
2. Read
3, Read
They get the message if the importance I put on reading as one grows in Christ.
Thanks Mike – if you set and communicate the standard your men will reach it.
Truth! We started our 1st Radical Mentoring Group last year and every man read the books – did the net outs – memorized scripture – never missed and was not late for our meetings. They completed all the homework and loved the challenge; most of them were young professionals with young children. We’re stoked about our groups this year and believe the same will be true with them as long as we set the example as their mentors! BJ Rutledge
Thanks for leading so well BJ! We are grateful for you and Grace Fellowship.
Does RM have a recommended reading list? Or a coupe of lists of good books? Maybe a list for marriage, faith, work, parenting?
We sure do Bill. The easiest way to do this is to set up an account on our website and then look at the tracks section. You will find topics and our recommended books. Let me know if I can help!
Hey Bill. Go here for our list of books we recommend specifically for use in mentoring groups. But they’re good as individual reads as well!
Completely agree with importance/value of reading and men’s ability to completely ignore it. A highly effective tool for me is the combination of my Kindle device(s), the Kindle app and the availability through Amazon ( not trying to sell one brand over another here…but this works for me) to download pretty much any book you would want to read or read about…seemingly instantaneously. An example: When Senator John McCain passed away last week, I saw online media which reported he had published his most recent (last) book in May of 2018. I had the book on my Kindle within five minutes. I read the whole 416 page book by the time on Saturday of his memorial service at the National Cathedral. I learned a LOT about John McCain from his book and about his values, civility, statesmanship, courage and his bipartisan leadership for thirty years in the US Senate. Also read about his family and friends and his long-term relationships with dozens of key American and international leaders. The real payoff came when I was able to identify dozens of influential people he mentioned in his book as I watched the memorial service and, in the moment, understand how different were their backgrounds and politics but how profound was their unity and respect for this great American hero. I could go on…but suffice to say that I was very moved by this experience, which was largely enabled by my personal Spirit-led reading habit and by the availability of good things through today’s media. I would pray for others to find these wonderful tools which God has put out there for us to reach out for to accomplish His purposes.
Great insight Paul – I use the ability to download samples of books from Amazon to build my future reading lists.
Hi Kevin very good article on the value of reading.
Thank you Larry!
I recently found out that I can consume more that one book a week by listening to books. When I try to read my eyes will read every word but my mind is on all the things that I could be doing. I get to the bottom of the page, have read every word but not a clue what i read. but I can listen to a book while cleaning the house, doing laundry, . . . have a note book near by to take notes and completely enjoy the entire book. I am an audible book consumer.
Thanks for joining in the conversation Daniel and for sharing how reading works best for you. Great idea to keep the notebook handy to take notes while you listen!
Good piece. Good points. I agree. Good job!
I’m clearly not a normal guy! Lol. I read about a book a week. However, more on the normal side, most of what I do read are novels….stuff that is sort of like written TV series…..stories that don’t really challenge me, they just take my brain and imagination for a ride. Reading stuff like this, even Bo’s Cafe, that makes me look inside myself….that’s a challenge for me. Often I cannot do both kinds of reading. It’s hard for me to compartmentalize it. Several times in my life I’ve had to give up the leisure reading for the growth reading. Done it before. Happy to do it again. Can’t wait to see what happens.
[…] Last month, we began with the assumption that men aren’t readers . . . but went on to discuss a few observations about how Radical Mentoring groups can change that. […]
[…] We already debunked the idea that men aren’t readers, or won’t read the required books for a Radical Mentoring group. Along the same lines, mentors often ask if the format of the book matters. Can my men listen to their books via Audible? Are e-readers ok? Do I need to hand them a physical copy of the book? […]