The One-Word Exercise
How you think God sees you is huge. It shapes your personality, attitude, marriage, and relationships.
Most of us come out of adolescence thinking it’s all about performance. It’s ball, books, and behavior. We think our value depends on our athleticism, our grades, the friends we have, or the pretty girls we get. It’s all about how we perform.
It’s radically different to know our value is tied to our position. It’s assigned to us, not earned. At the moment we accept God’s offer to become His adopted son, our value is maxed out. We go from the outhouse to the penthouse. From sinner to saint. From guilt for our sins to innocence through Jesus’ payment on our behalf.
Sonship is the closest relationship a man can have. It’s why Jesus identified Himself as God’s Son and referenced God as Heavenly Father. And it’s how God sees us . . . as beloved sons. Sons can’t be unadopted. It’s positional. It’s forever.
Your challenge as a mentor is to get your mentees to embrace this.
Few of us were raised in homes where we were consistently taught that God sees us as His son . . . a son chosen by God and grafted into His family.
I tell my guys over and over . . . God wanted you; He wants you still. He wants to help you . . . to be there for you. He wants to mentor you, guide you, affirm you, bless you, and love on you. He wants to help you interpret the events and circumstances of life so you can have peace about them. He wants to continually teach you so you’ll teach others. A disciple is a learner and follower of Jesus, and that starts when we accept our position in His family . . . as a beloved, adopted, forgiven son. Everything in a godly man’s life is built on this foundation.
Mentors, we have to be bold in uncovering how guys think God sees them. Since we get our earliest ideas about God from our earthly fathers, you’ll find most men haven’t received the consistent, unconditional love of their dads. Consequently, they aren’t sure where they stand with God. They may know they’re saved, but that may be about it.
Try this. Have your guys call out words their dads used (or might have used) for them. I’ve heard “selfish,” “stupid,” “worthless,” “incompetent,” “fat,” “lazy,” “wasteful,” “useless,” etc. Keep badgering them until they give you the words. They’re there, I promise. Some may have never been openly spoken, but they were communicated. They were heard by a little boy’s heart.
Chart those words on the left side of an easel and then ask, “Okay, let’s write beside each of these the word your Heavenly Father would use instead. Words like “smart,” “worthy,” “competent,” “capable,” “valuable.” God created every one of these guys . . . knew them before He formed them. His words are totally different from the hurtful ones we picked up from our fathers in childhood. They’re loving. Accepting. Encouraging. And true. Keep working this until every word from their earthly father is countered by a true word from their Heavenly Father. Have them repeat the words God would use out loud a couple of times. Then pray for God to work the truth about their value into their hearts.
Even if you succeed in getting this concept across to your guys, it may take years for them to grasp it experientially. Remember, you aren’t responsible for the outcomes of your mentoring . . . only presenting the truth in love.
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