The Silence of the Lie
Telling the truth is one of the lynchpins of character. There are 54 verses in the Bible about lying. Proverbs 12:22 is one of the best…
The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.
“Lying lips”. That’s straight up. ‘Speaking’ something that isn’t true. Would apply to ‘writing’ something that isn’t true too. Pretty ‘black and white’ most of the time. It’s true or it’s not.
But there’s another side to truth telling. Staying silent in the presence of a lie is a lie, especially when the lie provides an advantage to us. The Enron story is long forgotten, but that’s when I first saw this principle in action. The CEO was ultimately convicted, not for lying but for not stepping forward and correcting the lies of people under him. Who knows whether President Nixon was involved in planning the infamous Watergate break-in, but he was driven from office for not stepping up to the truth after it happened.
Mike Moye is a big-time sports agent. He made the news a few weeks ago because he found a mistake in what a player was paid. A $500,000 mistake. He was under no legal requirement to admit the mistake nor do anything about it. But Mike Moye is a trustworthy man….a man of integrity. He and his client chose not to live with a silent lie. The price of that choice was a half a million dollars. Mike sleeps well at night.
“Whistle-blowers” are often people who bring to light the silent lies of others. But I’m not talking about other people. I’m talking about us… you and me. What kinds of things get said in our presence that aren’t true? That we should correct?
I was in a social situation the other night when a friend introduced me, saying “He was involved in starting Northpoint church”. That’s not true. I was there early on, but not at the beginning. I wish it were true, but it’s not and I tried to speak up and correct it. If I’d let that go, that would have been a silent lie. And I’d have felt like a liar instead of a truth-teller.
When Delta converted its Frequent Flyer program to a new computerized system, I found 48,000 miles in my account that I didn’t deserve. A perfect opportunity for a silent lie. No one would have ever known. Except me….and my Heavenly Father.
People feel good about themselves when they do the right thing. When we step into the silent lie and speak the truth, when we correct the lie, or clear up the confusion, there’s a release. A burden is lifted. Or at least avoided.
It’s easy to see why we should deal with silent lies. The how is harder. Being a man of character is going to cost you. There will be times you’ll lose an advantage, lose ‘face’ or lose money by stepping up to a silent lie. But the beauty of being a Christ-follower is that our Father is the God of all outcomes who ‘delivers us from evil’. He ‘delights in people who are trustworthy’.
He’s got your back.
Question: Is there a silent lie you’ve allowed to go unaddressed? Will you trust God with the consequences of cleaning it up? Tell us here…
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Responses (5)
Great post. I am a big fan of Mike Moye. His father joined our Sunday School class many years ago and we look forward to having Mike as a guest teacher this Sunday – 7/7/13. (That’s the New Hope class –room 217, I think — at Oak Grove UMC in Decatur, GA if anyone is in the area and wants to join!)
So am I. Mike’s the real deal.
Regi, always enjoy your posts, but this one is so relevant for us men who call ourselves Christians… an easy trap to fall into when we misappropriate our integrity that way. People are watching us and they remember our claims, whether we always do or not. It reminds also of the times when I have those inclinations to “paint a picture” of my experience that make it appear to be more flattering than it actually might be. This is especially a trap for those of us in sales. I am thankful for the “God of all outcomes” that provides for us always; no need to “fluff up” our capabilities when He has our back (but this is often easier said than done). Thanks for the challenge Regi; helps me to be a better ambassador for Christ.
Thanks for your encouragement Cary. I saw a situation yesterday where a guy put a small commission for himself in a deal. It would have been completely legitimate, but he didn’t tell his client that he did it. Now the trust is a little shaky and his whole deal could be in jeopardy. Even after he figured out his client had seen it, he didn’t initiate a conversation. When the client called HIM on it, he was ‘naked’, embarrassed and scared, as rightly he should be. Obviously, truth-tellers don’t do that sort of thing. But even after he did it, he chose silence vs. coming clean on his ‘silent lie’.
I’ll never forget this concept revealed in a marriage enrichment program I attended. We were asked if we had ever lied to our spouse, and all were comfortable with answering NO. Then the question was asked again, but with the wording changed to” have you ever withheld the truth — not shared the whole truth — with our spouse ? It was suggested a lie was the act of speaking a non truth but also the non act of being silent , not speaking the truth, and allowing a false impression to go forward. OUCH! A sin of omission rather than a sin of commission.
Perhaps this was the original sin of Adam. Eve added to the one command of God , that she shall not touch the fruit, and He did not correct her. He then continued to remain silent as she extended the conversation with Satan, leading to silence when she ate and his doing the same. Sin of omission leads to sins of commission. He was standing there the entire time!
Some things never change, Men stop thinking clearly in the presence of a beautiful women, especially if she is naked. Satan knows that, and has been using that design feature since the beginning!