People Make Rules So They Don’t Have To Make Decisions
I hate stupid rules. When I see a sign that says “It is unlawful to bring your dog on the beach,” I want to go buy myself another dog just to break the rule. Why can’t I take my dog on the beach? Who made that rule? Don’t they don’t know how trustworthy I am? I’ll clean up after him. I’ll keep him from eating people’s sandwiches. I won’t let him jump up on the old ladies and knock them over.
Since the keepers of the beach can’t be there to make an individual decision about every guy and his dog, they make a rule that makes the decision for them…. and me … and everyone else. Problem is it’s a “one size fits all” decision that takes individuals out of it. A rule is a decision made in advance. It’s made for me and everyone else without knowing us. And most rules are made necessary by the small number of people who don’t take personal responsibility and screw everything up for the rest of us.
Here are some things I’ve learned about rules…
1. If a rule makes sense…if it’s important and non-trivial, it’s easier to submit to it.
2. If a rule is enforced equitably, we’ll obey more willingly. I won’t drive 55 on the expressway if everyone else is driving 75 and getting away with it.
3. If we respect the rule-maker, we’ll transfer the respect we have for him to the rule he created. If we trust him, we’ll find it easier to say “Well, he knows his stuff, and I know he cares about me, so I’ll go along.”
4. If the rule-making authority has domain expertise, it’s easier to follow the rules. I’ve never seen anyone try to get through those doors in the hospital with the little nuclear radiation symbols. Have you?
5. If the rule provides a clear overall good for everyone, they’re easier to swallow. When exceptions make the rules, they’re harder to submit to. Why should I suffer when I’m not the exception.
6. Rules are harder to submit to when those governed by the rules have no voice in making the rules.
This rant about rules is really for rule makers….for leaders who have authority and can make rules for others. Ask yourself these questions before you make a new rule…
Am I making this rule so I won’t have to make a decision?
Is the cost of this rule greater than the cost of not having it?
Can the rule be enforced? Is the mechanism there to catch rule-breakers and make the rule mean something? If it can’t be enforced, by definition it’s not really a rule and is a waste of your time and credibility.
Is there a way to get those who’ll be affected by the rule involved in the process of solving the problem the rule is supposed to solve? People are a lot more committed to their own ideas than they are to yours.
Are you prepared to spend the time, energy and relational capital to develop, explain, and support the rule, not just when it’s announced, but months later when the crisis that led you to make it has passed?
Think hard before you make rules….for your kids, your household, your staff, or your clients. God gave us rules, but a very small number of them. Most of the time, He wants us to consider Him, the people & the circumstances….and make a decision.
Question: Do you find it easier to make rules than to make decisions? Tell us about it here.
Breathe New Life Into Your Discipleship
Small group mentoring can help you engage your people, build your core group of leaders, and transform your church. Our free resources equip you with all the tools you need to launch a sustainable mentoring program.
Responses (9)
Great post Regi. I’ve never thought about rules with the spin of lack of decision making. Gets you thinking…
Thanks!
Glad it resonated Lars..
Thanks Regi, I appreciate the insight I gain from your blog. As a rule, I love talking about rules.
Rules have the effect of delegating responsibility for failure to the worker while the rule maker takes credit for the success. Workers can be placed in a “can’t win” scenario. They will fail the whole project if they follow the rule and fail the rule maker if they don’t follow the rule.
The pool of people in America who are willing to be micro-managed is shrinking. The best leaders will be those who can humbly create a culture where they can draw the best from their people rather than control them through rules.
-Andrew
Excellent perspective!
Good post today, Regi. Andi and I have a saying: Rules are for people who don’t know how to do it right. All of our kids traveled up escalators in their strollers. I listen to music during takeoff because my phone’s on airplane mode and I know with certainty that it’s not interfering with anything.
We don’t have many rules at our house. There are moments when we second guess the wisdom of this, but we’re definitely more decision based, which generally translates to more liberty for everyone. Make a bad decision, lose some liberty. Make a good one and you maintain it.
Sometimes this leads to a complaint about a lack of fairness, but I think fairness and freedom are somewhat opposed. No dogs on the beach is very fair, but it sucks for all the good dogs and owners.
A rule-less environment requires “hands-on” involvement which you guys have. Makes love and acceptance more real and fosters self confidence. Your kids are gonna do great!
I learned from my mentor that in an organization (like a church), most people in authority would rather make rules than deal with a person directly. It takes less time, effort and emotional energy to simply make a rule (which typically applies to a handful of people, if not just a lone individual) than to sit down with a person and coach them through a weakness, blind spot, or failure.
Rule-making simply develops mindless robots, not more leaders. Leaders think, followers do. No wonder we have so many burned-out leaders… they don’t develop anyone to help them bear the load and take new ground.
Isn’t the goal to get people doing the right thing simply because it’s the right thing (it makes sense), rather than because it’s a punishable offense. If we’ll courageously confront the behavior based on agreed-upon core values, people are more willing to cooperate. And they’ll become a part of the solution, rather than a disgruntled, disenfranchised part of the problem.
Keep up the good work, Regi!
Jon
Couldn’t agree with you more. Some rules are necessary, but a lot of rule-makers are just hiding!
Rules are important but prinicipals are more important. When we impart a principal we provide a guide that teaches people how to respond to varying situations.
The rule was “do not committ adultry”. Jesus taught us the principal is about lust.