Facts Are Friendly
I’ve said this a thousand times and every time I say it, my wife disagrees.
It’s become a point of debate, not just with us, but with our friends as well. Let me stake out the point/counterpoint.
Point – I need to know the facts. Don’t spin it, don’t sugar coat it. Give me the straight up. It may hurt, but if I embrace ironclad truth, I can adapt. If I live in self-deception, only get fed half-truths or false impressions, I can’t respond effectively. Imagine a doctor depending on incorrect blood work, trying to prescribe meds to save someone’s life.
Over time, the facts are my friends because they are authentic. Real. They’re not “buddies”; floaters who just make you feel good for the moment but vanish when it’s tough. Facts are friendly because they’re true. I can depend on them. I can build good decisions on them. I can build a good life on them. The truth sets us free, right?
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” says John 8:32.
Counterpoint – Facts are hurtful, painful and not always friendly. In fact, they’re more often your enemy than your friend. They hurt your feelings, cause pain, disturb your peace, create worry and disillusion. Few facts add value and warmth to your life. And few relationships are enhanced when one person decides to share “just the facts.” Galatians 4:16 asks “Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?”
Question: So who’s right? Which is it? What do you think?
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Responses (0)
I think what is interesting about the point/counterpoint is that they are both correct. We do need the facts and we need to understand them clearly without any filter so an accurate assessment or diagnosis can be made. The bottom line is when everything gets washed away is that the facts are what drives us to make decisions that can lead to positive results. However I also believe that the way the facts are presented can make a huge impact on how well they are received and to the course of action that is taken from the person who hears them. Some people can take the facts no matter how harsh and respond correctly. Others are so hurt by the pain the facts might have caused or the way they were presented that they might lead to more negative results. Understanding the personality of the person that is receiving the facts is vital and can’t be ignored or we run the risk of the facts becoming an enemy instead of a friend.
Knowing you and Miriam both, it makes me smile to know you disagree on this point. I think it’s both and neither perhaps. Yes, some facts are great and warm the soul, adding significance and meaning to life (ie, “We’re pregnant!! We’ve been waiting and hoping and praying forever and finally there is life growing and a promise fulfilled!!”). Some are the cold, hard truth that we hoped would never catch up to us that represent pain and disappointment in our lives (ie, “I’m pregnant. I’m 15 and we went out 3 times and I thought college might be an option but now I’m pregnant…”).
Same fact. Different emotional context. So that’s the “both.” Here’s the “neither.” Sometimes facts are just facts–nothing more than bits of information. The fact that my socks are black holds no emotional context for me but is no more or less true as a result. Hence, facts are emotionally (friendly and/ or hurtful) and nonemotionally charged; both and neither. The tension is good. Perhaps, the tension is necessary. How else would we interpret our emotionally charged world?
Great point of discussion, and very relevant points by DK and LHD. Aside from the very nebulous debate regarding what may / may not constitute “truth” (generally accepted norms? in other contexts, something for which no concrete answer is available – something which will always lie in the eye of the beholder? etc), an equally important consideration is the source of the facts communicated. Life gives us feedback in many ways. God speaks to us through our experiences and those whom we’re surrounded by, oftentimes aprising us of information about ourselves for which we’re otherwise unaware or neglectful. But what if the source of our facts had a bad day and, accordingly, the facts are skewed? Or what if the message being sent isn’t the message that we determine it to be? How we receive, perceive, and internalize information being communicated to us depends in great part on the intent, trustworthiness and perception of the communicator; the condition of our heart at the time of receipt; and the delivery of the message (wrapped in love? mentioned haphazardly? spoken in anger / vain?). God has communicated many messages to me – many of which have had the same theme, but all of which were designed to draw me nearer to Him; to make me a better disciple; and to ultimately awaken me to something about myself. Without the backdrop of His love, many of those facts would have not have been acknowledged, fallen prey to denial, or misinterpreted as destructive. It’s takes a while to get there. This “fact” further instructs my communication with others. It’d be nice to be able to communicate facts to others without condition or hesitancy, but we’d miss some important opportunities to help attend to the issues that bind them. As much as I’ve struggled with it, we don’t live in a “fire and forget” world…and we don’t by God’s design.
Allow Me to share my opinion.
I always think that fact is different than truth. Fact is in the past, something happened, as the way it is. Facts are spread by the media; its our attempt to understand things.
Truth is Jesus.
Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life;
no one comes to the Father except by (through) Me. (John 14:6 AMP)
Facts are not necessarily the truth. At points of my life when I faced the staggering faith shaking facts, i held on to the Truth, simple examples:
Fact: I didn’t have enough income to pay my bills, it’s mathematically proven. Truth: And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your
every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 AMP)
Fact: best doctor diagnosis that we are sick, in fact. Truth: He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.”
(Exodus 15:26, NIV)
The list can go on, with almost every scriptures equip us to face the hurting facts (sickness, future, etc.). My point is, it doesn’t feel right to put fact and Truth in the same category. For me, The Truth set us free even from the most horrendous fact.
God is in control (even the most horrible facts are under control) and He is good, isn’t He? 🙂