A New Way to Make a Big Decision
When most of us have a decision to make, there’s three steps…
1. If we think it through and settle on an option, we’re ready to pull the trigger. So long as we’re reasonably sure. So long as we’re not sinning or violating God’s law. So long as we have a ‘plausible explanation’ if it blows up. Done.
2. If we can’t get to a decision on our own, we might call someone for advice. If we have a friend with domain expertise around what we’re deciding, that’s even better. And depending on how our marriage works and the nature of what we’re deciding, we might actually run it by our wives.
3. If we haven’t come to a conclusion by now, we may actually think about God. Maybe we’ve visualized potential ramifications downstream. Maybe we’re truly stuck and don’t have a clue which option to choose. Maybe we’re scared to death of screwing this one up. We might think about some Scriptural principle, or a story of someone in the Bible who had a similar decision to make and how it turned out. Maybe we finally get on our knees and ask God what He thinks.
Notice how approaching decisions this way keeps us mostly wrapped up in our brains, our flesh and our egos and out of God’s presence.
What if we started by asking God what He thinks? What if we spoke to our ‘trusted advisors’ after we’ve sought “the peace of Christ” instead of before? Do you think we might see some of our decisions differently if we came around to our opinions and “wants” after we’ve gone to the Father and after we’ve gotten counsel from smart people who know and love us? We know that our hearts are deceptive. That the least trustworthy ‘voice’ in our head is usually our own. Why go there first?
Next time you’ve got a significant decision to make, approach it the opposite way. Start by writing down options, including both the action you’d take with that option and the likely consequence. Force yourself to do this with every single option you’re considering…the decision options and the likely consequences.
Now get on your knees and ask “Lord, what would you have me know here?” Ask that question about each option. Jot down thoughts that come into your mind as you ask Him about each one. Now go talk to your advisors. Hold the decision with an open hand and keep yourself from reaching a conclusion as you’re describing the options and potential consequences to your advisors. Listen. Don’t argue. Don’t ‘sell’. Take notes.
Now it’s time to ask yourself some questions. “What do I want?” “Why do I want this option and these potential consequences?” Listen carefully to your words and especially your motives. Hopefully, you’ve gotten some impressions from your Heavenly Father. You’ve gotten input from people who may know more about this than you do. You’ve thought about what you want and why. And you’ve used your brain to analyze the information.
Now make the decision and get on with it!
“On the Plains of Hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the Door of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting—died!”
Question: Will you take big decisions to God first? Have you a story to share of a big decision you approached this way? Share it here.
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Responses (4)
Regi – love this post. No matter how hard I try to keep decisions within the spiritual guardrails, the default is always to go about it in exactly the order you first described. It takes greater discipline (and often true submission)to go about it in the reverse order, but the result can often be very different because “my voice” is less loud once God and others have had a chance to weigh in first. I think we all have a tendency to favor the first answer we come up with – why not favor the answer influenced by God…right?
Hey, half of what I write here are confessionals. But I think I’m learning…at least a little. I just made a big decision and I’m in the midst of a smaller one. I fell right into the trap I outlined here. Me, then advisers, then God. This morning as I prayed, I heard “Regi, I’m for you!”What an encourager He is!
A few years ago, I reached out to someone for advice about a specific business decision and it changed my thinking and life (see what happens when you seek). He gave me the C3 decision making framework. If I had “C3” I could move ahead….. He did not know where I was spiritually and you will see the genius in his approach. Here is a summary of C3.
First, do you have Clarity? Are you clear about what is at stake, the options, who is involved, the up/downside of the decision? Right away, I knew I had not fully vetted the options.
Second, do you have Consensus? Have you asked for the people in your life (spouse, friend, mentor, family, team) about the decision? Other than this person (whom I didn’t know well personally but respected) I had not asked anyone else. I was operating in a vacuum. Note that consensus is not total agreement but it does provide a good way to hear alarm bells about potential dangers you cant see.
Third, do you feel Confident? Do you have a leading, a feeling or positive resonance to move forward? This is where he said some people pray about big decision and seek God. Remember, he didn’t know me well and this was a brilliant way to open the door to talking about God’s will for my life. I was definitely seeking God, earnestly, and the entire conversation was God providing. Wow!
I was seeking God first and he provided. So ask yourself, do you have C3?
These are great ideas John! Thanks for sharing.