Five Things You Need to Know About Mentoring
Unless you’ve been on Mars or asleep with Rip Van Winkle, you know Radical Mentoring is focused on mentoring. We’re always telling you what we’ve discovered on the subject and try to help you mentor by sharing the latest things we’ve learned.
So here are a few things we think you should know about mentoring. Some may seem obvious, some may seem new, but hopefully, at least one will be insightful…
- Mentors must be motivated by love. You have to love the people you’re mentoring. You can’t fake it. Maybe you start more out of conviction than initiative, but you must be fueled by the fire of God’s love if you’re to be a great mentor. Mentoring out of guilt or pity, a drive to do good, or an ambition to be looked up to won’t cut it for long.
- Mentoring doesn’t work without structure. At least not effectively. There has to be a felt need that’s owned by the mentee and a burden on the mentor to meet that need. Then there has to be a destination, an agreed-upon plan, a process, and an endgame. Otherwise, it’s adult adoption rather than mentoring. The mentee feels like a project, and the mentor feels like they have to have all the answers. Spiritual fruit will be hard to find.
- You know more than you think you know. Younger people can be smart educationally, gifted relationally, amazingly intuitive, or even all of the above, but they lack experience, and they know it. And there’s no shortcut to experience. But give them the opportunity to tap into the experience of an older, wiser mentor, and younger people are all over it. We older folks with evaluated experience (e.g. wisdom) know a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. It comes out over time through interaction with people in specific, real-world situations. We can add a lot of value to their lives if we just open ourselves up to be mentors.
- Mentoring is mandatory. Jesus told us to do it. Matthew 28:19-20 says, “Make disciples.” We dodge it, outsource it, postpone it, delegate it, and ignore it. But that order He gave us in the New Testament, the one written in red ink, isn’t going to change. The best option is to change your mind, obey, and become an intentional mentor.
- A mentor gets more than they give. It’s counterintuitive, but mentors get their socks blessed off. They get ringside seats watching their mentees respond to God and live out their callings as all-in Jesus-followers. Mentors get to see the smiles on the faces of the families of their mentees…smiles because their spouses have begun to love them with the selfless love Jesus modeled and their kids have a model to follow and parents to look up to. How special to watch your mentees marry well, watch their kids get baptized, and find their calling and place in the world.
“It is more blessed to give than to receive,” said Jesus (Acts 20:35). Mentoring is giving.
Question: What holds you back from stepping forward to mentor the next generation? Really. Tell us here.
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Responses (2)
Nothing is holding me back. After having been in a Radical Mentoring group as a participant, I am currently in the midst of my second Radical Mentoring class of eight very sharp guys from our church (Engedi Church, Holland, MI).
This is where I am called right now!
Thanks for providing the structure
I know one part is laziness,the other a lack of self esteem,and also some stubborness on my part.