You Have To Give It Up For Him To Give It Back
Maybe the most amazing thing about my life since I surrendered to Christ is how so many of the things I wanted have come my way. But in almost every case, it’s been a process. And somewhat of a surprise. Let me explain.
After the first couple of years of marriage (e.g. when the honeymoon ended), I thought I’d married an unaffectionate woman. I didn’t handle it well. I was constantly pointing out how other wives were affectionate…how they’d be rubbing their husband’s back or putting a hand on his knee at dinner. I was a real motivational expert.
After I gave out of gas and surrendered myself to Christ, I started giving these desires up to Him. “Lord, help me remember to love her just like she is.” “Lord, I want to love her just like you love me…unconditionally.” “Lord, I’m trusting you with my sex life. It’s up to you. I’m just going to love and serve her. I’m going to work on the intimacy part…the listening, the caring, and the honoring.”
A few years later, we’re riding down the road to somewhere and I noticed my wife’s hand on my knee. I suddenly realized….she’s become more affectionate! How could this be?
Same kind of thing happened with business.
After leaving AT&T and starting Team Resources with Pat MacMillan, I was pushing so hard to get clients. If you could fog a mirror, you were a prospect. Nothing was happening when I was led to make a significant contribution to our startup church. I knew I had to do it, even though it was a huge chunk of the ‘survival money’ we needed to get by until the business got going or I found a job. Within days of writing the donation check, a spurious visitor came to my office and two hours later, he was my first client. A few days later, I got a call out of the blue which led to a 6 month contract…a very profitable contract.
I learned something about my Heavenly Father.
Whatever I give up to Him, He seems to enjoy giving back to me, but more.
On the phone with the wife of a dear friend, I hear what she wants in her marriage. “I want an intimate, passionate relationship with my husband” she says. She’s struggling to see how it’s going to happen with a husband who seems incapable of consistent intimacy. I told her our story. How God knows what you want, but often waits until you give it up to Him before He blesses you with it.
I believe God likes to bless His kids in the ‘currency’ they want to be blessed in. I’ve watched Him transform husbands in amazing ways, then use those changed men to bless His daughters in the very ways they so long to be blessed in.
I once heard Henry Holly (for years, one of Billy Graham’s key team members) pray a prayer that went something like this….
“We open our hands Lord, for you to take whatever you want from them. We ask you to put back into our hands what you want us to have. And help us be grateful for whatever you give us.”
Is it like a loving Father to take 5 from your hands and give you back 3?
No.
Isn’t it more like Him to take 5 and give you back 7? or 8? or 10?
Visualize your clinched fist…holding onto your expectations. Your demands. Your money. Whatever it is you want, or what you’re holding on to.
How can God put anything into a hand that’s clinched tight like that?
Open your hand. Turn your palms up. Give God the thing you want. The thing you’re holding on to. Ask Him to give back not what you want, but what you need.
You may be shocked one day when you realize He put back in your hand exactly what you wanted in the first place. He’s good like that. All the time good.
There’s a great line in the movie “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”.
“Everything will work out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, that means it’s not the end”.
Walking through this life with God, the perfect father, Jesus, my role model, and the Holy Spirit, my comforter and guide, I know it will all work out in the end. He may never put in my hands what I think I want in this life. But there’s a bigger, better, longer, sweeter, more glorious life coming after this one.
We know it all works out in the end for Christ-followers. If it doesn’t work out in this life, we know it’s not the end.
Question: What are you holding onto that’s keeping God from being able to give it back? If you are willing to share, please do so here.
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Responses (2)
As a driven business guy I always feel like I have to get it done so I often struggle with, yet also embrace, what you outlined above. I have lived it out many times now and can testify passionately to the truth and power of exactly the walk you are painting here, failing sometimes and doing ok at other times. But how do we find the balance between letting Him work and not being anxious OR being too patient and too trusting which could equate to laziness and lack of results? I feel like the discipline and hard work must persist, but then accompanied by consistent prayer and faith that God will show up while we are working hard. But, am I getting caught in the same loop again?
When I visualize that closed fist or the ‘palms up’ open hand, that’s my right hand (I’m right handed). In my left hand is my ‘to do’ list. It doesn’t change, although sometimes after I pray and ‘turn over’ what I want to the Lord, the items and priorities on the ‘to do’ list will shift. Bottom line is I still work my list. I just do it in a more relaxed fashion…at a more deliberate pace. It’s like I’m in a race but the finishing order is complete. All the pressure is gone. I just have to finish. God’s already determined the outcome. Hope that helps.