When I (finally) Dropped To My Knees…
It was early in my business career. Our start up venture was a little over two years old. We had opened our first expansion city office, and it was awful. Wrong market, wrong people, wrong location, wrong tactics, wrong everything!
On a flight with our chairman and our attorney, it became immanently clear that we were in trouble. We were running out of money, the prospects for raising more equity were abysmal, and there were no lenders in sight. After we landed and arrived at our hotel, I walked to my room with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I had made the decision to expand rapidly; I picked the city; I had hired the general manager… I was the one who had let everybody down. I had never been a CEO before…who was I kidding? They should have picked somebody else for this job. Maybe if I step aside, they can salvage the company somehow.
As the elevator climbed toward my floor, the thought crossed my mind “You haven’t had a quiet time in two weeks. You have been “blowin’ & goin” and you have spent “zero” time with God.
I walked into the dark room, laid down my suit bag and without even turning on the lights, I dropped to my knees by the bed. I was ready to say “I’m so sorry, Lord”….but before I could say anything, the following words appeared in my mind’s eye. “You are in the center of My will for your life right now.” God knew my heart…he already knew my need and my prayer! I got cold chills all over my body. I was speechless!
I tried to go ahead and pray, but it was useless. I had finally humbled myself before Him, and He had responded. I got up, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. I slept like a baby!
A few days later, our largest supplier announced a 13.3% price reduction, retroactive to a date several months back. The company was instantly cash flow positive. The turnaround had nothing to do with management talent, wise decision-making, or extraordinary negotiating skill. It was totally about grace.
I wrote this prayer in my journal shortly thereafter…
“ Thank you for being in charge of my business, and for never taking a day off. I know that I can trust You with the outcome of things, no matter how bad they may look to be at the time. And thank you for forgiving me when I “drift off” and forget about You. I want to be your disciple, to be a “learner and follower” of Jesus. Please do whatever it takes to get and keep my attention, and to keep me on the path with Your Son. In His name I pray. Amen”
Question: Your wife? Your girlfriend? Your kids? Your job? What are you worshipping right now?
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Responses (6)
The number or even substance of comments will probably never reflect it Regi, but I wanted to write in today to say how much your words mean to me in these blogs. I read Boyd Bailey’s “Wisdom Hunter’s” devotional every morning amongst my other readings of scripture and other sources. When I see a “Radical Mentoring” message in my inbox with a new blog post, I’m immediately drawn to it because of its content, relevance, and because of the heart of the man conveying the message. We know that God is speaking to us through you. The fact that He’s speaking in a familiar voice is all the more comforting and empowering. There’s no special reason for this comment other than to say thank you for what you’ve done and continue to do for this ministry, and to affirm you in the “reach” and “impact” that you have in the lives of so many men (and the constituencies which we impact) daily. On this day of love, your love for us is evident. Thank you and God bless.
Rob…I am humbled by your comments. It means a lot to me to know that what God has shown me, mostly through my screw-ups and repentance, has value to smart young guns like you.
Michael thanks for the reply and the arlcite. The times when we have been highly successful innovating is when we didn’t seek specific resources, mainly money. In that environment we acted much like the garage innovators . Because we didn’t owe anyone a report or required to meet a deadline it gave our staff all the room they needed to experiment and fail. We continue to follow this model and it has served us well. We always start very small, find the real wins and sustainable features over several years, before we seek outside support. Looking forward to hear how others innovate where did you have success; where did you stumble?
Great post Regi.
I have to evaluate and see what I am focusing on more than my love for Christ. Something always seems to creep in and I’m sure I’m missing it at this point. Your post is a great reminder to constantly check what we’re worshiping.
Thanks Joe. It’s an everyday challenge for sure. But when I do it, my life is full of grace and I love it!
This post is more than a year old but it is extremely relevant to me still today. Thank you for this.