Time for a Laugh Break
After writing blog posts all these years, I’ve learned a bit about listening to that little voice in my head. Sometimes it’s God. Sometimes it’s just my soul reminding me to take a break, be human, and laugh a little. So, I’ve dug up the following quotes from around the internet with only one intent . . . to smile and invite you to smile with me!
“My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open with 3 of them frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.”
“I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not too sure.”
“Online shopping gives me a reason to live for 3-5 more business days.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“Yes officer, I did see that speed limit sign. I just didn’t see you!”
“I didn’t go to the gym today. That makes five years in a row!”
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.”
“The Bible says, ‘the lion shall lay down with the lamb.’ But it never said the lamb would get much sleep.”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.” – Lilly Tomlin
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
“Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly
“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” – Christopher Morley
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” – Ozzy Osbourne
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
Scripture: Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. (Luke 6:21)
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Responses (2)
After reading your one-liners, I had to comment on “…currently lives … with his wife of 47 years, Miriam”. Awesome. You look like you might have a few more than 47 years on you (maybe), so how’d you end up with a wife of only 47?
(just kidding. Sounds like you have a great ministry and marriage!)
This was a good one Regi. I actually had a hearty laugh out of most of them. The one that killed it for me is the “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.”
Oh man, that’s a good one and just between us, I think it’s more related to our spouses..