The Four Foundational Questions
Today’s post is courtesy of one of my closest friends and mentors, John Richie. John has a long successful career as a corporate executive. We’ve worked together twice. First when he served as COO of InterServ Services Corporation and later when he was CEO of Tax Partners LLC. I regularly quote John Richie and I often refer to him as the smartest person I ever worked with. When you read his post, you’ll see why. John is currently Chair of Venture in Atlanta, Georgia.
Somebody famous said you can’t find the right answer without asking the right question. I wish that had been me.
But it’s still true. And so is its corollary; if you ask the right questions, you are more likely to find the right answers.
Some years ago I found a series of questions that I just call The Foundations. Your answers to these questions are foundational to how you live your life, relate to others and how you relate to God.
There is an order to these questions. You have to start at the beginning to work your way through as each question builds on the ones before. The answers might not be obvious to you at first. As one guy told me, “I know the Sunday school answers to these but not the real ones, the ones that drive my life.”
- Who is the audience of your life? There is someone to whom you have given permission to judge your life, the person or group that you play the game for, the person or group whose reaction is most important to you. For some people, it’s their dad . . . or their wife . . . or the mythical “they,” the social-vocational crowd that you live with day to day. For some people, it’s their inner critic who evaluates everything they do. For some people, it’s their Heavenly Father. You can get a clue as to your audience when you have a big win or a big loss. Who do you most want to know and who do you most dread finding out?
- Why do you matter? This question is about significance. Because these questions are in order, the answer to your question about audience will affect your significance. If you gave Dad the right to judge your life, you will be significant only to the degree that you think Dad approves of you. Do you see why these questions are so important?
- Who are you? This is a question of identity. Our culture is confused about identity. Because the link to significance and audience has been broken, identity and purpose are seen by much of society as simply choices to be made and unmade. Henri J.M. Nouwen said it differently: “Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” Identity flows from significance.
- Why Am I Here? How often is this question asked seemingly out of thin air, as though you could address the question of purpose for your life without thinking about who your audience is, why you matter or who you are? I struggled for so many years to find a satisfying answer to “Why Am I Here?” without building the necessary foundation.
There is a reason I am drawn to these questions. It’s because it’s been such a struggle for me. I was far too willing to allow the leaders I worked for to be the judge of my life and was left with a mess when I tried to make sense of the rest of the questions. For a while, I lived for what I thought “they” thought of me. I learned that “they” don’t think of me much at all, and that I was just living for myself and my inner critic. No matter how well I did, the inner critic would tell me that I had come up short. My significance was in peril and my identity was “failed potential.”
I haven’t “arrived” and don’t expect to. But these are the right questions. And my Heavenly Father is the best source for the answers.
Question: Do you have answers to these four foundational questions? Real ones? Why not find a good friend and share with each other your answers to The Foundations. If you’d like to leave a comment, you can do so here.
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Responses (12)
John, Thanks for taking the time to share these questions. As I expected from you, they would be thought provoking and challenging. But I have a real problem with these questions.
The right “Sunday School” answers, if they are in fact the right answers, appear to create a man who is separate and aloof from the world. A man distanced and unaffected by all around him.
The fact is, we do have fathers, bosses, wives, clients, Convene groups, etc. and we do find much of our significance in what we do as men. These questions leave me questioning this and I don’t know that’s right.
Just a thought.
love, charlie
Very glad to have read this. Hope a series develops.
Self rejection and recognition of one’s depravity… Are they much different?
[…] post was inspired both by my weekend and this post by John […]
Powerful questions John. Until recently, I don’t think I had a clear understanding and answer to these four questions. They’re getting clearer now as I work on myself and who I am.
Great idea. Regi was kind enough to loan me his platform for my post. Maybe he will loan it to me again one day and I can explore that.
Charlie,
Thanks for engaging on this. I certainly agree that a person who is “distanced and unaffected by all around him” is on the wrong track. C.S. Lewis said that when we love God first, we love others better. If our relationship with God as our primary audience, does not lead us to love others better then we might be kidding ourselves. Contrary to what I imagined, when I no longer had my own identity wrapped up in business or family, I was more effective with both.
Blessings,
John
love GOD in big way.
These are solid questions that I have asked myself. Still growing and trying to live it out. Most men are caught up in performing instead of being who God created them to be. Would love to see you drill down on each of the questions and give us some action steps on how to work on each one.
[…] The Four Foundational Questions – “Some years ago I found a series of questions that I just call The Foundations. Your answers to these questions are foundational to how you live your life, relate to others and how you relate to God.” […]
I think part of the answer to Charlie’s dilemma is found in 1 Corinthians 8 as Paul counsels the Christians in that church to act responsibly with their new-found liberty from the law. Even though we are no longer playing to the “they” audience, the believer needs to remember that our actions affect others, especially other believers, and that we need to act in love towards them.
The other part of his comment regarding the need for significance via wife, work, friends and achievement is much more difficult.
If you’ve never read and worked through “The Search for Significance” and are struggling with these 4 questions, read it now. The idea in the quote from Nouwen in question 3 above is worked out in comprehensive detail in the text and worksheets of the book. It’s a book I have to re-read, especially when the “you’re a chronic under-achiever” devil camps out on my shoulder.
I have a position today where I have way less responsibility, authority and influence than I did a couple of years ago. I will freely admit to struggling with getting no significance from what I do to earn a living. I’ll need to read that book again soon.
I have the search for Significance in the kindle waiting list. Maybe I need to move it up in the queue.
I real Ecclesiastes to say that God intended many good things for our satisfaction and we confuse ourselves when we attach our signficance to those items. significance is reserved for him alone. When we elevate good things to ultimate things ( Thx Tim Keller) its idolatry.
John,
After attempting to answer these questions for myself, I have to agree that this is a pretty good list. I’m generally a big fan of the “why” questions. Answering questions that start with “why” rather than “how” or “what” can lead one to find their passion and their purpose.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
-David