The Best Mentees Are Hungry

I’m often asked, “How do you pick the people you’re going to mentor?” My answer is sometimes painful but always the same: “I want mentees who are hungry!” My business life was about trying to motivate people. Prospects to become customers. Recruits to become employees. Investors to become stockholders. My personal life? Same thing. Kids to become good students. Neighbors to become friends. It seems like I’m always pushing people places . . . good places, but still, I was trying to inspire.

When I conceived my first Radical Mentoring group, I said, “No more!” I’d found the life I always wanted in following Jesus, and out of gratitude, I wanted younger people to get in on it. But they had to want it! So, I required them to fill out an application. Besides some basics, the application asked them to write their faith story and their obituary, essentially a vision statement for their lives. I never let a mentee pick me; they had to apply, and I picked them, just like Jesus picked His disciples.

But after a few groups, I had more applicants than chairs for them to sit in. How would I decide between hungry mentees? Here are a few ways I’ve used to spot the kind of hunger I want in a mentee…

• Are they already doing at least one thing to grow in their faith? Attending worship services doesn’t count. I want someone who’s in some sort of Bible study, small group, or Sunday school class.
• Do they have a felt need for God in his life? Lots of people check the Christian box and simply rest in their salvation. I want mentees who want more of Jesus every day, not just on Sunday. A person with a felt need is willing to do something to meet it.
• Are they a leader? If someone is willing to work at becoming a leader in their work and community, they probably have the energy to pursue disciple-making when God gets hold of them.
• Are they a stable member of the church? Having a limited amount of mentoring capacity, I want someone who is motivated enough to be meaningfully engaged in the life of the church.
• Are they a learner? If they read (or listen to audiobooks), attend retreats and conferences, and listen to sermons and podcasts, it tells me they’re motivated to learn. Not many people are like this but it’s delightful when you find one.
• Are they consistent and tenacious? Some hungry people are all over the board, “looking for love in all the wrong places.” I want someone who’s committed to their family, does what they say they’re going to do, and isn’t easily deterred by challenging circumstances.

Great mentors are hungry too; they want to walk alongside younger people who share that spiritual hunger.

Are you hungry? Ask God right now to stir something in you…to make you hungrier for Him. Imagine what the church (and the world) would look like with a few million people hungry to live like Jesus and invest in others.

Scripture: But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:14)

Mentor Tip: A disciple is a learner and follower of Jesus. Let your mentees see your curiosity. Let them hear your hunger for Him when you pray. Open up your life, both the good and the bad, so they can see how you train yourself to exercise with Him.

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