Six Qualities of a Good Mentee

Churches and mentors often ask us, “How do identify potential mentees and build a shortlist we want to invite?”

Here’s an analogy. Think of it like fishing with a net versus fishing with a line. With a net, you will get all types of fish. Some you want to keep, but others may not fit the profile you’re looking for. When you fish with a line, you can use the bait that attracts the type of fish you’re hoping to catch.

The same goes for mentoring. Your best, most targeted mentees will often come from personal recommendations from pastors, staff, and other leaders at your church who know and interact with potential mentees. Beyond that, you’ll probably need to do a little scouting to find people who are good fits but maybe not very plugged in or involved.

Most churches have people on the sidelines who are leaders in the marketplace or in the community who could also be great leaders in the church. Identifying and inviting those leaders may take a little effort but can pay huge dividends for the health of the church down the road.

We don’t really know how Jesus went about this, but we do know He prayed all night over His shortlist as He made His decisions. So, starting with prayer is always a safe bet. After that, these six qualities describe the mentees I want to mentor and invest my time in…

1. Potential leaders – People who have the potential to be leaders and influencers but aren’t quite there yet. I missed this one at first, investing in several mentees who wanted to grow in their faith but had no gift or desire for leadership. A couple of them couldn’t (or wouldn’t) effectively lead themselves, much less others. We have a limited amount of mentoring capacity. Invest wisely.
2. Objective – Defensiveness is the enemy of personal growth. I want mentees who are willing to take direct feedback without being defensive. If a mentee spends their energy protecting themself and hiding behind a mask, they’re probably not ready to be intentionally mentored.
3. Malleable – I love teachable people. Those who will look themselves in the mirror and be willing to make changes. We only grow when we exert the courage to look at ourselves, see the gaps between who we are and who God wants us to be, and take bold steps to grow.
4. Humble – Scripture says God hates pride but gives favor to the humble. Jesus described Himself as “gentle and humble in heart.” I want to invest in mentees who are humble and express a hunger for personal growth.
5. Committed Jesus-followers – There’s always the temptation to mentor those who are outside the faith. And we should! But that investment should be a one-on-one endeavor with salvation as the goal. When we mentor people who already have a relationship with Jesus (or at least think they do), we’re directing them toward spiritual and life maturity. Put an unbeliever in a mentoring group, and they become a project, sucking the life out of the other mentees’ growth.
6. Willing to pay it forward – Radical Mentoring groups have always included the covenant commitment to mentor others as you were mentored. In the beginning, potential mentees had to agree to do this, but how and when was left up to them. Now, mentees develop a personal ministry plan for how to begin paying it forward after their group’s commencement.

Picking mentees will always be an imperfect science (some would say even Jesus missed one!). But maybe these tips will help as you ask God for the mentees He will give you.

Scripture: I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. (John 17:6)

Mentor Tip: Don’t worry too much about launching a large number of groups or even large groups! We believe four to eight mentees is the best size for a Radical Mentoring group. Resist the temptation to compromise on the criteria just to have bigger numbers.

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