Resolutions?
A long time ago, I used to make New Year’s resolutions. They were mostly stupid. “I’m going to eat no more than 2200 calories a day.” “I’m going to the gym and workout every day.” “I’m going to go a whole year without arguing with my wife.” “I’m going to have a quiet time every day.” (Well, maybe not all of them were stupid). They never made it out of January. I learned that New Year’s resolutions are binary. Black and white. Pass/Fail. Once broken, they were meaningless.
So I moved back to goal-setting. If I had enough incentive, I could dig pages of goals from the last 20 years out of my files. Goals were better than resolutions. Less binary. More forgiving. If I got off-track, I had time to double-down and still achieve. And while it’s true people who set goals accomplish more than people who don’t, goals are tricky. We can set goals for the wrong things. We can set goals on things others value and ignore what’s really important to us. Also, it’s hard to set goals on things that aren’t objectively measurable. A goal isn’t a goal if there’s no way to know if you’ve achieved it and frankly, after 50+ years of driving toward goals, I got tired of it. Just like New Year’s resolutions, goal-achieving seemed like it was all of me, on me, and too often . . . for me. I would ask God to help me achieve my goals, like “God, I’ve come up with what I want to do this year and now, I’d like you to get in on it and help me make it happen!” There’s a lot of ‘me’ in those last two sentences!
So . . . a few years ago, I started coming up with vision statements for the year. It was like prayerfully dreaming of what December 31st could look like if certain things happened. I’d define the ‘certain things’ after praying and melding what I wanted with what I thought God would want for me, my family, my church and my ministry. A little less oblique than goals . . . less measurable but far more meaningful.
But for 2017, I’ve moved another step away from New Years Resolutions, goals and even vision statements. I’m writing down my prayers for 2017. As I’ve gotten older and a little more mature in my faith, I’ve come to realize how dependent I am on God . . . how everything I plan on, work toward, hope for or visualize is totally dependent on Him. It’s my role to pray, listen, think, collaborate, and obey. “Jesus, what is your prayer for me this year?” “God, what is your prayer for our family?” “Father, what is your prayer for Radical Mentoring in 2017?” As I’ve moved from resolutions to goals to vision statements to prayer requests, I realize I’ve moved from ‘driven’ to ‘called.’ From it being mostly about me to it being mostly about Him.
How about you? Is what you want in 2017 connected to what He wants for you? Are your wants connected to things you truly value?
Instead of New Year’s resolutions, this year, ask God to help you craft your prayer requests for 2017.
Scripture: And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. (1 John 5:14)
Mentor Tip: In almost every group, there’s someone with a touch of the ‘prosperity gospel.’ Lead your guys thoughtfully and prayerfully through the Scriptures and show them that he gives us what we ask for if what we ask for what pleases Him and it is according to His will. God is not a genie who comes when we rub the lantern and gives us the Rolls Royce we think we want.
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Responses (4)
I found this very helpful! Thank you!
Yes! Yes! Exactly Yes! Thanks again for writing the thoughts that I haven’t been able to put into words. Yet another perk of being closer to 60 than to 30! Goal setting is great and I’ve lived intentionally for 30+ years. It has worked for me and I do believe that if I aim at nothing that’s exactly what I’ll get. However, it all has to start somewhere and we don’t experience going from ‘driven to called’ without the process that you outlined in today’s blog. There will be some resolutions made, some goal setting to do, and the writing of some vision statements.
When I was in my early 30’s I memorized Hebrews 13:7 “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the Word of God. Consider the outcome of their life and imitate their faith.” About the same time in my life my mentor told me,’ the people that you hang out with now are the people you will be like in five years.’ Putting the verse and the advice together I’ve been intentional about who I look to and who I hang with. It changed my life for the better. Over time there were several people that I looked to and wanted to imitate. Twenty some years later, I’ve accumulated quite a file folder full of thought provoking questions for evaluating myself and my life at the end of each year. Good grief! Keeping it all going is a part time job. As I was thinking about all of this if finally hit me,”and imitate their faith.”…….IMITATE their faith. Imitate THEIR faith. Imitate their FAITH!!
I don’t have regrets about any of my intentionality because it’s brought me to today. I’ve come to embrace the process that’s brought me from being driven to being called. As you said, it’s now more about Him then it is about me.
Thank you for taking the time to write to us. As I connect with your thoughts it helps me with mine.
I’m re-welcoming the Holy Spirit to bear the fruit of gentleness in me in 2017. There are already growing-pains, and it’s worth it so i’ll keep re-welcoming the Holy Spirit to nurture my gentleness throughout the year. Re-welcoming is doing something not for the first time.
Good post! As a goal-junkie it was food for thought.