Brad Cooper is a pastor at NewSpring Church and a graduate of my most recent Radical Mentoring group. A couple of weeks ago, he delivered an awesome sermon on marriage, speaking specifically to husbands about the command found in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” He compared Jesus’ P.S.D. for the church with how P.S.D. translates to our role as husbands . . .
P – Pursue: Just as Jesus pursues us, we ‘win’ as husbands when we pursue our wives. I’m not talking about chasing them around the bedroom. I mean pursuing their hearts. Being interested in what they’re interested in. Patiently listening. Showing we care about what they care about.
S – Serve: Jesus “did not come to be served, but to serve.” He washed feet, fed people, touched the untouchable. It was never about Him. It was always about others. Since our first and foremost ‘other’ is our wives, we need to develop the habit of serving our wives.
D – Die: Yes, die! Jesus died for the church. He “gave Himself up for her.” We’re instructed to die to ourselves . . . to put our wives’ needs ahead of our own just as Jesus did for us.
Here’s something beautiful Brad shared. I will never forget this.
The groom in a wedding typically wears black. That’s to symbolize the sin we’re all guilty of, not specifically his sin. The bride appears and walks toward the groom. She’s wearing white, not because she’s pure and sinless (no one is) but because she symbolizes the bride of Christ . . . the church . . . which has been made pure and sinless through Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross.
When a husband dies to self, he’s doing what Jesus did, sacrificing his own life out of love for his bride. As a result, His bride is made pure and sinless and loving and beautiful in heart, just like Jesus did for the church.
So? Get off your butt and pursue your wife! Not because you want something but because you choose to love her and to show it. She decided to invest her one life with you! Serve her. Do some things around the house she hates to do. Take off some of her workload. It won’t kill you! And choose to die to self. Watch your wife’s heart change. You’ll see her start to lean more in your direction.
Scripture: So that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:27)
Mentor Tip: Don’t be afraid to challenge your men to become pursuers, servers, and sacrificial lovers of their wives.