Who Ya Gonna’ Call?

As a man, I’m not all that crazy about asking for help. No stopping to ask for directions…I’ll figure it out on my own. So what if I make a couple of wrong turns, go a little out of the way, or slide in a little late?

Same thing applies to most of the decisions I make in life. I don’t need help figuring out the small stuff. I’m not going to spend the time or swallow my pride or complicate things by bouncing little decisions off people. I’m an adult…I can handle it.

But about once a year, something big comes along. A business issue with serious consequences. Your child screws up at school and doing nothing isn’t an option. Your aging mom falls and breaks her hip and can no longer live alone. The roof starts to leak and you’re faced with spending money you don’t have on a house now bigger than you need. Do we fix it and stay, or sell it and downsize like our friends? Or your wife seems less and less interested in you at the exact same time this gorgeous woman at work starts seeking you out for advice. You’re smelling her perfume and feeling a tension that hasn’t been there before. “It’ll all work out” doesn’t cut it in any of these situations.

Who are you going to call? Who’s competent? Who’s wise? Who’s ‘safe’? And most important…who cares?

The answer is… your mentor…if you have one.

Guys who build relationships with older, wiser men when there isn’t a crisis have “go-to” people when there is. Yes, it’s awkward to reach out to someone you look up to but don’t know. And yes, they may not have time for you right away. But you’ll be amazed by how accessible older guys are when they’re approached correctly.

Mentors aren’t looking for more boys to raise and they’re not anxious to jump into your problems when they don’t know you. They have their own deals…their own lives to live. But most of the mature Christian men I know are open to friendships with younger guys who are humble and teachable. They remember dealing with dicey situations. They wear the scars of mistakes made. They have experience and insight… and they’ll help.

Men who seek out mentors navigate life with ‘wise counsel’ others don’t have. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety,” (Proverbs 11:14). Safety. Reduced risk. Fewer and smaller mistakes.

And when you hang around those seasoned guys for a while, you find yourself thinking differently. More deliberate. “He who walks with the wise grows wise,” (Proverbs 13:20). It rubs off.

But you have to reach out to them now. Before you need their help. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Find ways you can help them out. Be intentional but keep it real. Don’t end up mentor-less.

Question: Have you put effort into building relationships with mentors? Tell us here.