High-Fiving Out of Your Comfort Zone
Influence with Others

High-Fiving Out of Your Comfort Zone

Posted by Kevin Harris on May 28, 2018

Today’s post comes from Radical Mentoring Executive Director Kevin Harris . . .

For those of you who don’t know me . . . I’m an introvert. According to an old Myers-Brigg test, in 1997 I was an extrovert, but I can’t really remember what that felt like so I will go with a more recent test which said I’m 65% introvert . . . either that or I’m just a good test taker.

That also feels right because when I think about how I live my life, I’ve realized the way I operate feeds my introversion . . .

  • I preorder my Starbucks and wait outside, so I don’t have to engage with the other customers or the overly friendly barista.
  • I order Chick-Fil-A and have them bring it to my car, so I only have to hear one “my pleasure.”
  • I wear headphones in the grocery store and always keep an eye on the list on my phone instead of looking at the other shoppers.

I pretend it’s about efficiency, but in reality, my introversion becomes conversation avoidance and an excuse to ignore the people around me . . . certainly not how God designed us (see Genesis 2:18 – “it is not good for the man to be alone”). And personally, I know better. If you’ve heard my story, you know my deepest valleys came when I was isolated and alone.

Last week, I made the mistake of listening to Bob Goff’s new book Everybody Always. At the close of this book, he offers the following words . . .

“If you want to become love, stop just agreeing with Jesus . . . don’t just love the people who are easy to love; go love the difficult ones. If you do this, Jesus said you’d move forward on your journey toward being more like Him. Equally important, as you practice loving everybody, always, what will happen along the way is you’ll no longer be who you used to be. God will turn you into love.

Every time I wonder who I should love and for how long, God continues to whisper to me: Everybody, always.”

Hearing Bob read those words caused me to reevaluate my approach to how I live and how I love. At the time, I was walking around a park near my house, so I stepped outside my comfort zone and just started to high-five people as they went past me in the other direction . . . I know it was a little weird, but it was a first step in reminding me to see people as God sees them.

So, if you have to happen to be walking in a park and a random guy in a Radical Mentoring hat wants to give you a high-five . . . high-five him back.

I think Bob would approve . . . I know Jesus would.

Comment here.

Responses (6)

Ray Snyder
Ray Snyder Posted: May 28, 2018, 9:55 am

Love your post, Kevin. Your introversion is about how much you talk with others, and also about how much you THINK before you TALK. Since you’re also a “J” on MBTI, you love to plan your life.

You’re managing the best of both worlds. You’re PLANNING to engage with others. Half of that is outside of your comfort zone and half of it supports your “J” preference.

Well done, Kevin. You’re learning to “write with your left hand,” assuming you’re right handed. This is what we’re teaching our men. They’re using their gifts to behave in new ways that will be awkward at first but eventually move them to be the Godly man that He designed them to be.

That’s a good thing to learn. You’ll never be great at your non-preferred behavior, but it’s the same with sanctification. We’re practicing every day to be more like Jesus. We don’t “arrive” until we meet Him.

Shalom Aleichem,

Kevin Harris
Kevin Harris Posted: June 4, 2018, 10:43 am

Thank you Ray! Your wisdom is a gift to me and to our entire Radical Mentoring tribe.

Trey Posted: May 28, 2018, 11:56 am

Great read, Kevin. I think we are all guilty of this. It seems to be the path of least resistance, sometimes. I plan on sharing this with my men’s group. Hope you, Susan and the boys are doing great.

Kevin Harris
Kevin Harris Posted: June 4, 2018, 10:42 am

Great to hear from you Trey. Sorry for my slow response. Let me know how your men’s group responds. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

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[…] High-Fiving Out of Your Comfort Zone by Kevin Harris […]

Rickey Posted: June 2, 2018, 9:22 am

For years of my life I felt that I could live on a mountain somewhere with my family and be just fine as long as I had my ESPN. I am also not very outgoing by have increased into becoming more like an extrovert, e.g. my wife. She could make a friend with a dead dog. I actually spoke to someone the other day at DMV about baseball. I was leading into asking him to come into my church but was afraid. I do not know why, I am an older gentleman. Maybe one day I will have the confidence to do that.

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