Do You Know Where Her Heart Is?

Do You Know Where Her Heart Is?

Posted by Regi Campbell on January 22, 2018

Years ago, I was having lunch with one of my guys. It was our “one-on-one” to get to know each other. He toured me around his office, introduced me to his partners, and totally blew me away with how smart and competent he was. But at lunch, when we started talking about marriage, the conversation turned a little stiff. Finally, I asked him this question regarding his wife.

“Do you know where her heart is?”

A long silence followed.

Then it hit me. “Do I know where my wife’s heart is?” I mean today. This week. Right now.

At our group’s next meeting, we discussed the definition of the word “heart” as the Scriptures use it. That was around the time I began substituting the word “desire” whenever I read the word “heart.” It’s something I still often do as it can be very revealing. Think about it . . . when I read Psalm 51:10 which says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I’m reading “Create in me pure desires, O God.” It works . . . at least it helps me.

So, when I ask myself, “Do I know where my wife’s desires are,” the question becomes clearer. How can I love my wife “as Christ loved the church” and not know where her heart is or what she really desires? Today. Right now. And we’re not talking cars or jewelry here. We’re talking what does she want in her life that I’m not giving her . . . like focused time, or help around the house, or the support she needs as she deals with her sick mother or grandmother.

Do you know where your wife’s heart is? Do you know what she desires from you?

Find out. Fast.

And encourage the guys that you’re mentoring to do the same.

Scripture: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)

Mentor Tip: The first relational assignment you’ll give your guys is “5 Feet for Five Minutes.” This can be an excellent time for them to focus in on how their wives are doing . . . what they are happy about, frustrated with, stressed about, etc. And hopefully, they’ll keep up the practice long after your first month is over.

Comment here.

Responses (2)

Art Mullan
Art Mullan Posted: February 11, 2018, 8:20 pm

Regi, good words about heart of wife. I’m following a whole new approach to my wife’s heart, based on your book, Radical Husbands.

Regi, my wife’s heart is another house: bigger and much more expensive. Yes, it’s her heart! After your book, I’m all in … yes all in. I’m 75 & still work full time. Am trying and on-board with her want of another house. I’ve established limits / boundaries to not wreck our retirement. It’s really stupid to be buying another house but it’s OK … I’m all in. It’s just hard when she can’t find what she wants and blames me for it. I try to overlook it but realize this business of being Radical is not a piece of cake.

Regi Campbell
Regi Campbell Posted: February 12, 2018, 6:03 am

Hi Art . . . sounds like listening to your wife’s heart has created some tension. I’ve dealt with a bit of that in my marriage, where we’re not on the same page about things that cost a lot of money. What’s helped us is to lay out the total financial picture of what we have, what we may need, what’s coming in and going out. Once my wife understood the big picture, her desires came in line with current reality. It was really healthy for both of us to know where we stood on finances. Thanks for reading Art. Keep tracking her heart. Regi

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