A Wife’s ‘Expectations’ Story
Expectations are the anathema of marriage. Men (and women) come into marriage expecting perfection which, simply stated, is for the other person to do and say exactly what we want them to, when we want them to. Whether we say it or just stuff it, the anxiety from unmet expectations can kill intimacy and eat holes in our souls….make us mean, mad and ornery. Show me a marriage that’s working…I mean really working…and inside you’ll find two people who love, accept, respect and forgive each other. People who have learned to manage their expectations of each other.
And that’s what you’ll hear in this short video. Manage your expectations and watch how God will bless your marriage.
P.S. When people ask me “What do you get out of mentoring?”, I think about the wives of the guys I’ve invested in. Women like this one who’ve seen God work in their husband’s lives. Who live in homes with less tension, more love and grace.
If you’ve been married a while, you can help a ‘newbie’ get the hang of it. If you’re an empty nester with God first in your life, sign up with us and become a Radical Mentor.
The wives of the husbands you mentor will love you for it!
Question : Are your expectations making your wife miserable? Your marriage less than it could be? Tell us what you’re going to do differently here.
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Responses (1)
Excellent post and so true. First, let me sing my husbands praises, he is a great husband and example to our family. He definitely has a servants heart. He does things for me all the time without even pointing it out to me. I often realize, when he is not even around, the things he has done to make my life better.
I would like to tell a brief true story that I think illustrates the point that is being made by expectations. Many years ago, one of my husbands co-workers began to notice my husbands lunch. He noticed how the oranges were peeled, the nice little containers of food, the bread was buttered and many other little things about my husbands lunch. He was envious that I did those things for my husband. He asked my husband, how did you get her to do those things? What did you do? My husband said, I don’t ask her to she just does it. He didn’t believe him, he wanted to know the secret. He was so insistent that my husband must be doing something to get me to do these things for him that he wanted to talk to me. I am not kidding, this man actually got on the phone and said how does he get you to do these things for him? I responded, I do these things because I love him, he loves me and he is very good to me and I like to do things for him. He does so much for us and I like to make his life easier in any way that I can. He seemed amazed that there wasn’t some manipulative way he got me to do things for him. He wanted to obtain information to use for his own benefit. He had “expectations of being served” and didn’t feel that it was happening in his life. What my husbands co-worker didn’t understand was that by serving our family my husband inspired me to want to serve him. My husband did not lay heavy expectations on me, he laid them on himself. I saw his unselfish and loving attitude and was inspired to do the same. I am so grateful for him and the example that he is. I couldn’t ask for a better husband and friend.