My dad passed away when I was 27. I have now lived more of my life without a father than with one. He and I were somewhat estranged the last few years of his life. 

You see, like many other boys, I had grown up believing in what my father espoused. Faith, family and occupational success in our home. However, his moral failures, which imploded my family of origin during my high school years, derailed many of those beliefs for me. I stepped into adulthood not wanting to rely on anything or anyone. I was pretty good at that…for a while.

My father’s unexpected and sudden passing, coupled with major health issues in my own young family, created a fork in the road for me in my late 20’s. Through those, I found my way back to church. I repented to the Lord that I had left Him in my dark times and acknowledged that He had never left me. 

Then I received an invitation to be part of the 2nd Radical Mentoring group in 2002 from a man I didn’t know. A man who made a God-honoring decision to love me and lead me as a mentor ahead of even knowing me.

One day at a 1:1 lunch with my mentor at Joel’s Deli in downtown Atlanta, I heard these words. “Do you recognize that every time someone uses the term Heavenly Father around you that your whole body language changes? Let’s talk about why.” That started a journey of forgiveness for my father…three years after he had already passed away. And that forgiveness allowed me to begin to open my hands with my own life. A life that had otherwise been built around service to self.

Seeing the ripples of mentoring over time

My mentor’s selfless investment in me pointed me to a life truth as designed by our Heavenly Father. As Rick Warren famously said, “It’s not about you.” That Ripple has cascaded through my life and has touched countless others as a byproduct. 

Most recently I had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of nearly 70 emails, cards and letters from co-workers as I stepped away from a career in corporate banking to lead Radical Mentoring. Guess what the overarching theme of those emails and letters was? How I treated others. And if you polled the men that I have mentored over the last 15 years? I imagine they would tell you that “community” and “doing life together” (aka “it’s not about you”) would be near the top of their takeaways from me.

We can never know how the Lord will use us in the life of another. When we obediently make ourselves available to mentor a chosen few and offer our examined life experiences (aka wisdom) and our pursuit of who God intended us to be, the Lord can and often does use us to create Ripples for individuals which change the arc of their lives, revealing the ripples of mentoring over time.

Be a Ripple…for Christ. Choosing to be a mentor can alter a life in ways you can’t imagine.