What if the moments that stretch us the most are the ones that shape us the deepest? Sometimes, the hardest is the holiest.

I recently read a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The idea of it is that God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy.

It blew my mind and opened my eyes in ways that I never imagined before. All this time I imagined my marriage as a Disney fairytale with the “happily ever after” that comes once the couple says “I do.”. And my heart broke every time something happened in my marriage that destroyed that idyllic image.

As the years have gone by and I’ve grown in my marriage, I realized that hard doesn’t necessarily mean bad. The difficult situations my husband and I have encountered have helped us grow, not only as a couple but as individuals.

The growth that comes when we leave our comfort

In his book, Gary writes, “The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.”

And I can’t help but think that mentoring works the same way, both for the mentor and the mentee.

I’ve heard many stories of women who don’t want to commit to a Radical Mentoring group because it seems hard or too demanding. And I can’t help but wonder, is it truly too demanding, or does it simply interrupt the comfort and schedules we’ve built for ourselves?

Matthew 7:13–14 says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

Not everyone is willing to enter through the narrow gate that is following Jesus, building community, being vulnerable, and growing in discipline. But those who do end up seeing a harvest in every area of their lives.

Trusting God with what feels hard

If you are considering starting your journey in a Radical Mentoring group, either as a mentor or a mentee, this is my encouragement to you: see hard not as an impediment or a burden, but as an opportunity to grow in your character and in your relationship with Jesus and others.

You may look back and realize the hard seasons were the very places God met you most deeply, proving that the hardest is the holiest. And remember, you don’t have to walk that journey alone. We’re here to guide and encourage you as you lead and grow as a mentor.

If you’d like support or encouragement as you lead your mentoring group, contact us. We’d love to connect and walk with you in this calling!