Today’s post comes from Regi’s wife of 48 years, Miriam . . .
Regi has never asked me to write a post before. Which doesn’t surprise me. I like to be in the background. I work best behind the scenes . . . one-on-one. I was attracted to him 48 years ago because he had bountiful energy, a fun personality, a positive outlook, and good hair. Those characteristics are probably what attracts many of us introverts to confident extroverts. We get married. But we soon learn how different we are. And over time, we learn to love each other through those differences.
Here are the things I have learned over a lifetime of being married to an extrovert . . .
- He has more energy and enthusiasm than me. I do well to cheer for him but have to protect myself from doing stuff just because he’s up for it. I have learned it’s ok for me not to go at his speed. I can say ‘no’ in a kind and loving way because he knows I need time to process, reflect, and mentally slow down. I need ‘me time.’
- He loves to be complimented, especially in front of others.
- He loves his independence.
- I understand he’s busy and as an extrovert, that’s just who he is. It’s best for us if I don’t slow him down unless it’s ‘life and death’ important.
- I try to let him dive right in whenever possible . . . I just have to keep from getting drowned in his splash. Over the years, we have learned that we make better decisions when we talk through the solution to a problem together. We both seem happier.
- He responds better to options than to an outright “no.”
- He loves a thoughtful surprise, which isn’t something I naturally create since introverts hate surprises!
- He loves physical and verbal gestures of affection.
- He needs affirmation, so I celebrate it with him.
Besides Regi, I find my closest friends are extroverts. They provide the fun, energy, and love of life that gives me more energy and positivity.
The saying “opposites attract” is definitely true is our relationship! But in the midst of all those differences, we’re together. We take care of each other, accept each other, and we have each other’s backs . . . no matter what.
Scripture: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23 – my life verse)
Mentor Tip: What Radical Husbands Do is a book to consider for the marriage module if you’ve got guys who want to improve (or save) their marriages but don’t know what to do.