Leading with Love, Not Just Strength: How Women Reflect the Heart of Jesus

As women who long to reflect Jesus, it’s easy to think strength is enough, but true leadership looks like leading with love.

I learned this firsthand years ago. I had been walking closely with Jesus, growing not only in my relationship with Him but also deepening my involvement at church, serving faithfully, and leading small groups. Yet even then, as the broken human that I am, I eventually found myself in a hard season—one where, as my pastors so graciously said, instead of taking care of others, I needed to be taken care of.

I knew I needed help, but when I reached out, I was bracing myself for judgment and a harsh response. What happened instead took my breath away. When I opened my heart to my leaders, they received me with overwhelming love—a kind of love I had only ever seen come from Jesus Himself.

“Neither Do I Condemn You”

Do you remember the story in the Bible where a woman caught in adultery was dragged before Jesus, and the crowd demanded that she be condemned? Jesus simply said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7).

One by one, her accusers walked away. Then Jesus asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, sir.” And Jesus declared, “Then neither do I condemn you.” (John 8:10–11).

So much grace. So much love.

That’s exactly how I felt after talking with my leaders, and it’s the way I want to lead others too.

The truth is, we are all sinners, no matter how small or big our mistakes. We all need grace. We all need love. We all need to hear, “Neither do I condemn you,” because if even the One who has the right to judge chooses to show mercy, who are we to withhold it from one another?

What Leading with Love Looks Like

If we want to learn how to lead with love, we only have to look at Jesus.

Leading with love means…

• Offering grace before judgment.
  When Peter denied even knowing Jesus—not once, but three times—Jesus didn’t respond with anger or rejection. After the resurrection, Jesus went to Peter, restored him, and entrusted him to lead His church.
  Love looks like restoring, not rejecting.

• Prioritizing people over appearances.
  When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, He crossed every cultural line to engage her in conversation. He didn’t shame her for her past; instead, He offered her living water—an invitation into new life.
  Love looks like seeing the person, not the reputation.

• Creating safe spaces for repentance.
  Jesus never excused sin, but He created environments where people could bring their brokenness without fear. The woman caught in adultery didn’t just walk away uncondemned—she walked away changed.
  Love creates space for both honesty and transformation.

You might also be interested in reading: Radical Love – Loving Boldly When It Feels Safer to Hold Back

Leading with love means choosing vulnerability over comfort, restoration over retaliation, and grace over judgment. It’s not always easy—love often risks rejection or hurt. But it’s the way of Jesus, and it’s the only way to truly reflect His heart.

It’s the heart behind Christian mentoring too, walking with others not because they are perfect, but because we are called to extend the same grace we have been given.

An Invitation to Lead with Love

If you are a mentor or leader, you have the incredible opportunity to be a reflection of Jesus to those you serve. Leading with love doesn’t mean ignoring sin or dismissing struggles. It means creating space for grace. It means choosing compassion over condemnation, restoration over rejection, mercy over judgment.

Someone you lead may one day walk into a conversation with you, bracing for punishment but desperately hoping for mercy. Be the leader who surprises them with love.

Be the mentor who mirrors Jesus.

Because when we lead with love, we don’t just build better leaders—we help build hearts that are more deeply rooted in Christ.