How to Maximize Your Group’s Growth Partner Relationships
Each month during a Radical Mentoring season, every mentee meets with another member of the group one-on-one…to get to know the other mentee on an individual level and to provide space for accountability and feedback on that month’s topic and homework. By the end of the mentoring season, every mentee will have been “growth partners” with each person at least once. And hopefully developed a closer relationship with one or two of them.
These Growth Partner relationships are one of the five elements that make up the “content” of a Radical Mentoring group, along with Reading, Scripture Memory, Homework, and Prayer. Of these five, Growth Partners often get the least attention, both in the group and outside. So, what can you, as the mentor, do to emphasize these relationships? Keep reading for a few ideas.
Mark Butler, a mentor in Atlanta, GA, has done a great job of giving prominence to Growth Partners in his mentoring groups. Upfront, Mark and his co-mentor set the expectation that each month the two growth partners should be doing more than meeting once. They should be talking to each other on the phone multiple times, texting regularly…really tracking with each other. And then to reinforce the importance of these relationships, during their mentoring meetings, Mark doesn’t ask each mentee how they’re doing, he asks each growth partner how the past month went for their counterpart. (This could be a separate meeting element or take place during “regrouping” time in the beginning.)
Another mentor, Bill Bredemeier from Holland, MI, puts a different twist on the growth partner relationships. In addition to his full group meeting, Bill divides his mentees into subgroups. And then the subgroups have to meet during the month as well. He assigns a leader for the group, whose job is to determine the meeting agenda. Usually, they talk about something relating to their monthly topic that probably won’t come up in the full group meeting, or they dive into a question that needs more unpacking than the normal meeting allows. Each month, the groups and the leaders rotate, so everyone gets the chance to interact with each other in a smaller setting
We’ve heard from other mentors who encourage their mentees to pair their growth partner meetings with an activity. Instead of just going to get coffee or lunch, the growth partners go bowling or golfing or do a service project together. This typically creates a longer time window than a 45-minute lunch and also allows them to see how the other interacts “in the wild.” One mentor reported how an introverted mentee really came out of his shell while biking (his favorite hobby) with a group member, so much so that each subsequent growth partner requested to go biking as well.
If one of our goals as mentors is to create an environment for authentic relationships to form, it’s imperative that we create opportunities for bonding and connecting. Having everyone tell their story early is an effective way to light this fire, but it has to be continually stoked and encouraged throughout the mentoring season if you really want the relationships in your group to ignite. Growth Partner meetings are an excellent opportunity to lean into the community aspect of your group. Don’t be afraid to get creative. Your mentees will benefit.
Question: What have you done to encourage your group to make the most of their Growth Partner meetings?
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Responses (2)
Received an email about Radical Mentoring. I found myself thrust into racial reconciliation with the George Floyd killing, accelerated with my retirement in the summer of 2021. It is all-consuming, always on my mind: reading, texting, emailing, conversations, meetings I initiate, thinking, evaluating.
The question I thought about reading the email and the link: how might this approach apply to racial reconciliation? One approach has been to suggest people get together and get acquainted over a meal or coffee, to have someone over for a meal, to get acquainted, get to know the other person, realize and experience similarity. I’ve suggested whites pose a question to African-Americans: “Recently I’ve learned how difficult it is to be Black in America. Could you share with me your experience?”
How might this apply to suggested racial reconciliation activities and personal initiative? What might it look like? Might it be something like following up an encounter or conversation with something like “Beyond hearing your experience I’d like to get to know you and you me. What do you think about (and suggest a sample activity such as bowling or golf, etc.” I think of things like going to a movie and having coffee to discuss it. What might some other things and activities be?” Other thoughts or suggestions?
Hey Bob, great questions. First, I love that you’ve found yourself “thrust into racial reconciliation,” as you say. That’s very cool to hear and very needed.
In case you’re unfamiliar, the basics of the Radical Mentoring approach are 1-2 mentors and 4-8 mentees who meet once a month for 9-12 months. Each month, there is a book to read, Scripture to memorize, homework assignments to complete and a growth partner to meet with. And then it’s all discussed at the monthly meeting. All the content for each month is centered around a specific
topic (Prayer, Grace, Priorities, etc.).
We considered adding a Racial Reconciliation monthly topic and I know a few mentors have included this in their mentoring seasons. But even with that, it still only covers one month of out twelve. Radical Mentoring, as typically constructed is meant to cover really important topics, but more at a foundational level than by diving super deep, which I sense is what you’re getting at. And while the content is important, more than that, it’s really about build deep relationships with others. Part of that is accomplished by everyone telling their story early in the season at a Story Retreat.
So all that said, I think there are certain pieces of Radical Mentoring that could help you construct the kind of environment you’re looking to create. The idea of reading a book a month and completing a few related assignments to be discussed at a monthly meeting could certainly be beneficial for a group centered around racial reconciliation. The idea of a Story Retreat could be very helpful as well.
Keep asking the tough questions!
Jackson