How Mentoring Increases Giving in Your Church

Years ago, I served on the long-range planning team at our church. We wanted to compare our current level of giving to the congregation’s capacity to give. We studied the demographics of the surrounding community and found that the average household income was about $65,000. At the time, about 600 families belonged to the church, so we concluded that our capacity, if everyone tithed, would be almost $4 million dollars. Considering our budget of $1 million, we were only at 25% of our capacity. Even if we stopped growing, the sky was the limit as to what we could do for the Kingdom if we could get the other 75% of our crowd to tithe. So we set about trying to get the congregation to tithe . . . we barely moved the needle.

The problem we ran into, at least in my mind, was revealed in the research conducted by The Barna Group and published in their book Revolution. At the time, Barna estimated there were 77 million churched Christians in the United States. Of those, they said about 25% or 20 million were revolutionaries . . . people who were all-in for Jesus. One of their seven characteristics defining a revolutionary was “Resource Investment,” or the belief that we own nothing . . . God owns it all and we’re just stewards. These are the givers in our churches.

When I look back at our church, the numbers make sense. 25% of our families were revolutionaries and gave generously. 75% gave very little to nothing. Thus the gap between the $1 million in actual giving and the $4 million in potential giving.

The only way to increase giving to your church is to increase the number of revolutionaries . . . people who love Jesus and are all-in for Him. And there are only two ways to do that . . . either steal them from other churches or grow them yourself. That’s it. For a church to increase its resource base, it has to figure out how to make disciples and disciple-makers. Plain and simple.

Barna released a new study late last year, published in Christianity Today, exploring the state of disciple-making. Pastors, who we assume have the sharpest eyes to see as it relates to the spiritual state of their churches, are forlorn about their churches’ ability to make disciples. According to the study, “Less than 1 percent of senior pastors and discipleship pastors told Barna that ‘today’s churches are doing very well at discipling new and young believers.’ Six in 10 believe churches are discipling ‘not too well.’”

It goes on . . . “But those in the pews disagree. More than 9 in 10 said that their church definitely (52%) or probably (40%) does ‘a good job of helping people grow spiritually.’ Barna interviewed more than 2,000 Christian adults—both practicing and non-practicing—and 800 Protestant pastors for its newest report, The State of Discipleship. (Barna defines practicing Christians as those who say their faith is very important to them and who have attended church in the last month.)”

So there’s a disconnect. Either practicing Christians don’t know what discipleship really is, or pastors are holding themselves and their churches to unreasonable standards. I tend to think it’s the former. Asking practicing Christians to speak on disciple-making would be like asking me to evaluate sushi . . . I’ve had it about 5 times, it was all cooked and it was all the same to me.

Maybe we should go back and define what it means to be a 21st-century disciple of Jesus. To stay in my own patch, I’m going to speak only about men. Here goes.  A disciple . . .

• knows God personally, has a clear picture of who God is, His character, and how God views him as an adopted son. He looks at God as the perfect father who loves Him immeasurably and unconditionally. He also has a personal relationship with Jesus, not just a religious affiliation.

• embraces Scripture in a wise and genuine way.

• knows how to make good decisions, building his decisions on godly wisdom and good theology.

• understands God’s perspective on marriage and how to live out his role as a leader. He is totally committed to his wife . . . to loving her unconditionally and dropping the expectations he puts on her.

• fulfills and enjoys his role as a godly father, should he be blessed with that privilege.

• is a learner and a follower of Jesus, establishing the habit of reading, journaling, and growing in his faith.

• accepts his responsibility to be an intentional disciple-maker and influences the people in his spheres to move one step closer to Christ. He is unashamed of the Gospel and of being a Jesus-follower.

• loves the church and commits to it, acknowledging that it is unquestionably God’s chosen vehicle for this and all future generations.

• has a God-centric perspective on money and possessions and gives generously to his local church. 

One can only imagine what could happen if your church was filled with men like that.

But back to the topic of giving. I believe that increased giving is not the reason to make disciples, but it is a byproduct of the process. Think about it. Lead a man, a husband, a father into a growing relationship with Jesus and you’ll see a better man emerge. A better husband, father, churchgoer, worker, and community member. These men are more grateful to God for what He’s given them, and thus more generous with their money and their giving.

Several years ago, we surveyed about 100 men who’d been through a Radical Mentoring group in their church. We found a 38% increase in giving after their one-year lay-led group. And just last month, my church (North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA) completed its first year of intentional men’s small group mentoring using the Radical Mentoring approach and materials. An anonymous survey at season’s end showed these results . . .

• Because of the mentoring group experience, my walk with God has “Improved Significantly” – 76% “Improved” – 24% “Improved or Significantly Improved” – 100%

• This group is helping me develop as a man in regards to one or more of the following: humility, curiosity, teach-ability, intentionality, and a closer relationship with the Lord. “Definitely” – 98% “Probably” – 2% “Definitely or Probably” – 100%

• As a result of the mentoring group process, I would say my life “Improved Significantly” – 55% “Improved” – 45% “Improved or Improved Significantly” – 100%

• I have experienced authentic community. “No” – 0% “Yes” – 100%

• Because of my mentoring group experience, my marriage and family relationships have “Improved Significantly” – 35% “Improved” – 52% “Improved or Improved Significantly” – 87%

• My giving to the church and/or other Christian ministries – “Increased Significantly” – 8% “Increased” – 44% “Didn’t Change” – 48% “Increased or Increased Significantly” – 52%

This is documented life change! The last bullet shows the result of spiritual growth . . . a new perspective on money and possessions and a willingness to support the church helping fuel that man’s spiritual growth. Imagine how quickly an increased base of generous men and families could change your church and dramatically impact your church’s financial strength.

About fifteen years ago, the Lord started to reveal to me what I believe is a modern-day version of what Jesus did as He made disciples of the twelve. You can read more about how that came about in Mentor Like Jesus, or you can create an account to gain access to all the resources you’ll need to launch and sustain an intentional men’s program. All of our resources are free, as is access to our team. We’re donor-supported . . .  we don’t sell anything . . . and our mentoring process has been launched in a variety of churches, both large and small. We’d love to guide you and your church through this process as well.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also,” said Jesus in Matthew 6:21. When the men in your church start to find their treasure in Jesus, their money will flow toward the Kingdom. Our money follows our heart. A selfish heart leads to selfish spending and stinginess. When a man’s heart begins to connect with the heart of God, his money will follow.

While church attendance of women significantly outstrips that of men, decisions to give are often made or significantly influenced by men. To increase giving in your church, go after the hearts of your men. We think the best way to do that is through an intentional small group mentoring process like Radical Mentoring.