Mentoring gives you a front-row seat to watch God work in others. Jonathan’s story reveals how growth through mentoring quietly reshapes the mentor himself.

When Jonathan McCoy said “yes” to mentoring—ten years after his experience as a mentee in a Radical Mentoring group—he believed he knew exactly why he was doing it. RM had “changed his life.” 

As he says plainly and humbly, it saved his marriage, reshaped his parenting, restored his health, and anchored his faith in the person of Jesus. Saying “yes” felt like paying it forward and honoring the commitment he had made as a mentee to invest in other men.

What he didn’t anticipate was how much he needed this experience.

Jonathan stepped into mentoring in Atlanta, carrying assumptions that are common among leaders. He believed that because he had survived the season these men were in, he had wisdom to offer. He assumed they would want his guidance and would desire growth as deeply as he did. Very quickly, mentoring began to alter those expectations.

From Giving Answers to Creating Space

Rather than dispensing answers, he has learned that the mentor’s role is to create a container—a space that consistently points men first to Jesus, then to one another, and finally invites the mentor to walk side by side with the mentees. Not in front. Not above. Living that reality has proved far harder than talking about it.This is where growth through mentoring begins.

Along the way, another mentor offered a simple but life-altering reminder for Jonathan: a mentor’s obedience is a call to love the mentees before you even know them.

Some of the men are easier to love than others. That honesty matters. But he has realized the choice to love is his—not theirs. Scripture doesn’t leave much room for debate: “We love because He first loved us.” Loving these men is not a feeling; it is an act of obedience. When he made that choice, something shifted. He has watched the men respond—not to pressure or performance, but to presence and consistency.

Processing this with fellow mentors revealed a deeper truth: every meaningful relationship in Jonathan’s life began because someone chose to love him first—whether he was lovable at the time or not. As a mentor, he began to see his role clearly. “I have a set of souls in my home every month longing to be loved.”

Love First: Obedience Before Outcomes

Mentoring has also exposed areas where he still needs growth. Despite years of reading, studying Scripture, and completing the work himself, sitting across from men in pain has revealed that mentoring is “heart work,” not “head work.” To stand with integrity, he has had to deepen his relationship with his Heavenly Father, tend to his marriage, and grow in humility. His value is not measured by whether a man “gets it,” memorizes verses, or completes the curriculum.

His job is simpler—and harder: love first and trust God to work.

Looking back, he knows mentoring has permanently altered the trajectory of his life. Community and intentionality are now woven into the rhythm of his family. His wife has participated in and led groups of her own. His children are being raised in a life shaped by discipleship, presence, and love—even if they don’t fully understand it yet.

To the man unsure about stepping into mentoring, he offers this honest invitation: “I can’t promise it will change your life although I hope it does. But I can promise you a front-row seat to watch God work in the lives of men and their families.” Mentoring is a beautiful, messy experience as love often is.

A Radical Invitation

Mentoring isn’t about having the answers—it’s about obedience. It’s about showing up, creating space, and choosing to love the men God has given you.

If God is stirring something in you, don’t dismiss it.
Step into mentoring. Love first. Trust God with the rest.

Learn more or begin the journey getting access to our mentoring resources.