Lead With Your Story, Not Your Script

Lead with your story — not the version you think people want to hear, but the real one. 

Have you ever felt pressure to share only the parts of your life that are polished and presentable? Maybe you’ve wondered if your story is too messy, too ordinary, or not quite finished. But the stories that truly resonate are the raw, honest ones that help people feel seen.

I recently discovered an interesting movement called The Moth, which is basically a storytelling organization with podcasts, radio shows, and live events where people share true, personal stories.

Attendees can drop their names in a hat, and 10 people are randomly selected to tell a 5-minute story based on the night’s theme. Judges give scores, and there’s a champion by the end of the event.

I love hearing people’s stories, so I was intrigued and decided to attend one of their events a couple of weeks ago.

Stepping Into Someone Else’s Story

The theme of the night was “Hospitality,” and I was curious to hear how people would interpret it through their stories. To be honest, some of them felt a bit aimless or lacked a clear point, but a few others were much more compelling.

There was one specifically that caught my attention. Her name was Chloe, and she shared about her journey with infertility and IVF treatments, and how much she wanted to be a good “host” for a baby. This was hospitality in its rawest form: making space for life, hope, and longing, even when the outcome is uncertain.

I was captured by her vulnerability and the way she led us into her heart, her pain, and disappointment. And I wasn’t the only one touched by it – I could tell by the heartfelt applause that broke in the room as soon as she finished. Needless to say, she was named champion.

I realized a couple of things. People aren’t drawn to stories that are trying to be funny just for the sake of entertaining, or that are too crafted or polished. We want to hear the raw, unfiltered version, the one that resonates with us and makes us feel connected.

And that’s true for mentoring, too.

Let Go of the Polished Version (Especially in Mentoring)

Too often we want to share our wins and achievements. Or maybe even our struggles but making sure we get to the part where we overcame them and became a better person. But we don’t usually like to share the hard parts, we don’t like to sit with our pain or seem vulnerable.

What we don’t realize is that people want to know that they are not the only ones struggling. They are not interested in our resumé as much as they are interested in our hearts. Who are we? What makes us different? What makes us laugh or cry? What feels heavy right now?

That’s what really matters.

When you lead with your story, you create a safe, beautiful environment where vulnerability invites our souls to connect on a deeper level.

But when we try to impress people with polished stories — the highlight reel moments — we unintentionally build moats. Instead of inviting connection, we create distance. But when we share our unvarnished stories, the honest and unfinished ones, we create space for others to feel safe and seen.

So I want to encourage you — whether this is your first time mentoring or you’ve lost count — lead with your story. Ditch the script. Leave the pretty-polished version of you out of the room, and prepare for your mentees to open up, as you lead the way allowing yourself to do the same.